sephat

2012-01-01T12:32:00.002+08:00

this year's new year i didnt spend it with the people i wished to be with and did not have fun as much as i hoped BUT, i watched Schindler's list and it made me wanna be a better person.

New year's resolution: be a nice happy person.

2011-12-24T08:51:00.003+08:00

okay, before i continue with my venice post and start on my berlin one, i NEED TO RANT.
okay i've kept it bottled up for way too long.

I HATE MY ROOM.
FUCKING DIRTY DUSTY AND SMELLY. KNNCCB. I dont mean to stereotype but having a roomie that is MIC can totally RUIN an exchange program.
I LOATHE coming back because I HATE how she fucking doesnt even clear her fucking food from the table. and she is always eating something smelly. WTF. and she can leave it overnight in the room without even covering it. FUCKING DIRTY. omg. not once or twice EVERYDAY. im super tired from my berlin trip and i come back to know that bacteria is in my room. oh and she doesnt like to open the window. the fungi and bacteria like churning inside.

and the best thing is, she uses my honey with her bacteria infested spoon and she uses our frying pans and knife and chopping board and doesnt use soap the clean it. HOW DISGUSTINGGGGG!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHH.

okay.
i am counting down SO desperately to go home. even her china classmate scolded her for being dirty. she is the epitome of omg uncleanliness. breathe. okay. i feel better. i need to persevere

2011-11-27T04:23:00.006+08:00

okay. gonna write about my venice trip before i start forgetting everything.

So because our flight is at 6:10am and we needed to check in by 5:45am, and the first bus from my dorm is at 5:30am, so we decided to sleep in the airport. like take the 12mn bus and then sleep there. it was quite an experience. first time sleeping like a homeless person. (okay not first. the first was when i was 16 and my family were supposed to go to venice from switzerland and we slept in the train station). Oh okay, i just realised that we were going to VENICE then as well. lol.

SO anyway, gl, virginia and I slept in macs. I slept for abt an hour before I realised that i cant sleep anymore. and then we had to check in.

Nice sunrise from the plane.

act yi ge ming xing

So then we boarded the plane and wizz air was SO DAMN GOOD. as in the landing. because we were SO damn sleepy and I was nuaing and waiting for the plane to shake while landing. BUT THERE WAS NO SHAKE. you know, the shaky landing of planes. yeah the next thing i knew people just stood up.

well done wizz air! okay but the bad thing about it is that it is free seating. SO, we should have boarded the plance earlier.

Okay we then reached the airport at 8am and we were stunned. because the lady at the tourist counter was not there yet and we had to wait an hour or so for her to arrive, which we thought it was a waste of time. and we didnt have a map. so we just followed some instructions the hostel that we have booked to navigate them.

so we were supposed to take Bus 5 to Piazzale Roma. and then take a boat bus. But the thing is, the ticket machine said that a ticket cost 2.5euros for a ticket for a single journey but the bus driver said we had to pay 5euros. i was like no, that's not it. because I heard that we have to be careful in italy so I was like kinda paranoid. In the end, he said that we had to pay the extra 2.5euros for our luggages. (WTH!) SO then , we finally reached venice and see the water and boats everywhere.
Oh yeah, just to let everyone know, there are NO roads in venice. NO ROADS. NO CARS. NO MOTORCYCLES. ONLY boats and the taxi are boats as well.

Act yi ge flagging for taxi. Just to prove my point.

we went to the tourist info with a damn pmsy woman who gave us wrong info somemore.
She wanted to sell us a map for 2.5euros but we knew that maps will be given by hostel for free.

So we asked the woman how to go to San Samuele and she was like take boat 1. Which was confusing because the instructions was to take boat 2. anyhow, we thought maybe the info given by the hostel might be out dated so we went into the boat 1 stop. and to take boat you had to validate the ticket. luckily guang liang nv validate the ticket. because what the woman said was wrong. boat stop number had a person checking the tickets so we were really lucky no to validate it.

So then finally reached out hostel after much weaving through the place. you see, Venice is filled with alleys. maps arent exactly very useful because there are just too many lanes and the sequence of the buildings arent regular. you can only use the map to roughly gauge where you are.

So tada. our hostel. ( a place that turned out quite miserable)

2011-11-15T02:43:00.002+08:00

how to make lemon curd (Portuguese dish)

100g of flour
200g of sugar,
1 litre of milk
1 lemon juice (self squeeze)

mix and put in oven for 45 min 180 degrees

ok anyway, i know you stutter when u lie.
I think you are such a hypocrite. u want the friendship but do nothing to deserve it.

screw you. i will not give you my 100%. and please grow up.
oh and dont act pitiful. cos i seriously just feel like slapping you

2011-10-29T21:35:00.002+08:00

28th oct- outing with virginia.

SHE'S DAMN AWESOME. brought me to eat at cafe louvre which is damn atas but relatively CHEAP. the french quiche is a MUST TRY. the serving is damn huge and nice!!!

it was halloween so there are like many youngsters all dressed up and partying and they were like asking us to join them! so random and spontaneous. but of course being ASIAN and shy, we declined. and there were people who randomly 'boo!' us from behind. I thought the boys were back from poland for a moment but soon realised that nope, they were strangers.

brought me round the city. saw statue of john whitenerman or smthn. abt how he changed catholism i think. like making donations not compulsory.

Brought me to the outside of the church which has a man's hand hanging on the ceiling. apparently the guy was caught stealing donations from the church and so the church cut off his hand and hanged it as a reminder to other people.

She taught me how to identify the powder tower from the other towers! there are gargoyle stuff that will spill water out of their mouth.

oh and there were random black people that kinda started talking to us. like omg. i was hanging on to my bag so damn tightly. and they were blabbering random bullshit like how he was making millions etc.

the worst was this czech guy who went on and on about knowing chinese and pffft. and suddenly he said he had ocd. and is a prof in charles uni. wth. weird people everywhere!!!! so awesome night, awesome food, awesome company. (Y) day well spent. :)

29th lunch with bonny and her german friend nikolaslo i think.
suppose to go hany bany for 80Kc burger but it was only opened at 4pm on sunday!!!
went to pizzeria instead. had itlian wrap that was DAMN huge. couldnt finish it.and bonny's friend so kindly paid for everything. so he kinda paid for my lunch AND dinner.
and i locked myself out of my room today. :/

2011-10-02T05:39:00.003+08:00

ok some things i learnt about exchange.

and what I would advice people to/not to pack on their exchange trips.

1) dont bring alot of clothes. just bring enough to last you a week and for extreme conditions. e.g: one winter jacket (for places with winter), two t-shirts, 1 jeans, one pullover, one poncho. BUY the rest in the place. many times, people pack too many unnecessary clothes only to realise that their clothes are either too thick/thin for the weather. seriously just buy here. the people here know what fits their weather best. I have clothes that are too damn thick and too damn thin. and it doesnt help that the weather fluctuates like crazy everyday.

2) DONT bring kettle, iron, etc. firstly, it takes up unnecessary space in the luggage, secondly, the plugs may not fit/voltage may not fit.
I've fused 3 multiplugs already because of a stupid hair dryer.

DO BRING:
1) lots of storage containers of different sizes. you will need to arrange lots of things

2) rubber bands.

3) a damn good pair of walking shoes. *especially for europe. where the roads are gravelled so it can get kinda uncomfortable if your shoes suck. plus there are mountains to hike and huge rocks to climb.

4)pegs. those small pegs that your mom uses to clip socks/underwear etc.

5)bring a bag pack. definitely much better than a hand bag when you're travelling to places/hiking etc

What to buy immediately when you reach:

1) hangers. time to unload your bag

2) washing detergent

3)wok/pan/spatula/pot/kettle/utensils/chopping knife

4)CLOTHES.

5)onion/garlic/soya sauce. most important spices you will need.

6)thermos flask

7)tissue paper.

8)WET TISSUE (VERY IMPORTANT)

that's all for now.

anyway, i dreamt of sasa yesterday. lol. wth i'm so vain. miss cosmetics shop so much.

2011-08-30T03:49:00.002+08:00

AWESOME BIRTHDAY WITH GABRIEL!
though i was really tired and lethargic, i pulled through the zoo day.

I managed to get free admission to the zoo cause its my birthday and got a free ice cream!

basically just damn tired the whole day.
so many animals to see.

saw lemurs mating. haha. the most exciting thing that happened to the animals

ANYWAY, the fun part is the company, ilove the time we spent just predicting what random people are doing.

*note to self: wear heelys to the zoo. must walk so far zomg!

Highlight of the day - RECEIVING MY PRESENT!
omg. my baby is such a genius!
he made an awesome pop out card for me!
LOVE YOU BABY DEAR!
why you so creative!
go get a degree in mechanical engineering also lah.

thanks baby for trying to make this birthday a blast!
portobello mushroom in czech?

getting increasingly emo as the date of my flight approaches.
will really miss bi. =/

thanks friends for the birthday wishes and gifts! love you guys! <3!

2011-08-25T04:01:00.002+08:00

lol. presidential election.

most probably I'm gonna vote for Tan Kin Lian.

People will probably condemn me for not voting Tan Jee Say.

But, to be honest, I think only when the government has a stronger opposition force within itself then I would vote for TJS.
If not, nothing's gonna change. PAP will most probably create chaos and then blame TJS (if he's president) for all the problems just because he's from an opposition party. OR, they will nit pick at the slightest thing that tan jee say do and probably shame him.

PAP is the dirtiest party. i wonder why they wear white when all they do is play dirty.

Okay anyway, here are the reasons why I'm voting for Tan Kin Lian.
Sure, his spoken english is not as fluent as the others.
BUT.
1. I think he as president will demote elitism. He doesnt have prestigious background, yet he managed to make it big while holding on to his values.
2. I think he is more representative of the people. In the sense that he is a TRUE BLUE SINGAPOREAN WHO LOVES his country. even the shirt he's wearing in his wikipedia page has orchid prints. WHICH OTHER CANDIDATES HAS THAT?!
3. HE IS ALWAYS SO HAPPY AND POSITIVE. Its not the fake happiness that PAP wear on their faces. He just radiates positivity! His happiness makes me wanna strive for my country. His answers are the most honest to me.
4. He will definitely promote the culture and heritage that Singapore had lost ever since PAP decided to make Singapore a cosmopolitan city. C'mon which other candidates gives you this vibe? Sure, Tan Cheng Bock helped relocate a temple. But, he's not a walking representation of our heritage. BUT TAN KIN LIAN IS. he has like temple written all over him. Okay, this may not be fair to other races/religion, but to be honest, when I look at his wiki photo, somehow it reminds me of Little India too. LOL. Okay erm, he just somehow reminds me of the old Singapore I grew up in when I was in primary school.
5. Under him, the young will probably have more morals. He just reminds me of CME (civics and moral Education) no, i mean more like hao gong min (good citizen) the one we learn in primary school. Yes, he makes me wanna be a hao gong min.

ANYWAY, the President will probably once again just be a figure head. with little power to change policies etc.
SO then, if its just gonna be a picture on the wall/a person shown on tv to cut ribbon, I rather Tan Kin Lian, a happy faced president. I mean compared to the orh bin (black face)sr nathan who really looks so grumpy all the time.

Looking at life after GE, WHAT radical change has been done to Singapore's political scene? to me, nothing much. Just more conflict between the opposition and incumbent party. like a heated exchange of words. and then? nothing changed. PAP still has too much control.

seriously, I feel there shouldnt be institutions supporting any candidates. voters should vote individually without any pressure from whatever institution they come from. and those that dont know who to vote should just spoil their vote. this will create a fairer election. And it will be more representative of the choice made by the people. one more thing. newspaper should cease printing on the elections during the election. The candidates should publish their own papers if they want to spread their message across. NEWSPAPER SHOULD NEVER INFLUENCE VOTES.

anyway, this is for you TONY TAN t(^.^t) for not giving TJS a chance to finish talking yet feeling that you are in the position to reprimand the people that booed you saying that its "Deeply disappointing to have people who will not listen." Ha. you are one of them.

2011-08-15T22:35:00.002+08:00

omg crazy woman. CRAZY.

i CANCELLED tuition to go visit grandmother and YOU forgot the jackfruit. dont come and use me to ease your guilt. CRAZY. HECK I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO MALAYSIA with my friends and had to give tuition but I cancelled BOTH BECAUSE I WANTED to pray for AH MA and you said i dont give FAMILY TIME?!?!?!!! which of my other family members was there? NO ONE. not my bros, not my sis, not even my dad. it was only I AND YOU. AND YOU SAID THAT I NEVER MAKE TIME FOR FAMILY? you good.

i give 2 damn tuitions a day and travel round singapore just to earn money so that i wont be lonely on christmas. and the funny thing is. she tell it to my relatives to make it seem like gabriel is leeching off me. he is not, he is working hard too. but we are being REALISTIC. he is still studying, im still studying. the only way he can go there is if we share the cost. dont make it sound like im damn 痴情. he's done alot for me too. in fact more than what i've done for him. so dont anyhow make stupid assumptions. and even if we did break up, i dont find the money i saved to buy him an air ticket to czech as money wasted because looking back at what he did for me, its worth it.

yeah you had to call me down from my room because you told me to WAIT for you and we'll go after you shit. you want me to wait outside your toilet meh. how i know how long you take. obviously, i go to my room to wait lah. and secondly, i dont see how calling me down affects you bringing the jackfruit.

u say that its because im lazy and you call me down and you had no hands to carry the jackfruit that grandmother like to eat. firstly, how isit im lazy because i go to my room while you shit. secondly, how is me being lazy as you mentioned related to you not bringing the jackfruit? how the hell do i know in the first place that you want to bring the jackfruit to ah ma? you NEVER say anything. you just say only in the car and you blamed me. thirdly, i helped you carry. dont anyhow say that i NEVER. why would you have no hands. oh and not to mention, you were sitting down at the dining table when i came down. how isit you have no hands. and you can even ask me to bring it out of the fridge and i wont complain in fact, i'll gladly do it. but what i wont tolerate is if you blame me for something that is totally NOT my fault. CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY. fact: YOU FORGOT TO BRING. DONT BLAME ME.

manipulative crazy woman. somemore call me manipulative. SIAO. tell my relatives that im lazy and that made her not bring the jackfruit. true, i admit, i never clear my room. but remember, that's not even the reason you cited for not bringing the jackfruit. YOU SAID that you had no hands and you must call me down from my room that's why you never bring. even so, I dont see how i never clear my room is related to you not bringing jackfruit.

and YOU are manipulative for anyhow telling my relatives that we are quarreling because i am lazy and never clear my room. why we quarreled in the car is because you blame me for something that is not even my fault. its okay. grandmother knows that you are the one that never bring. and how am i manipulative? just by telling my relatives to ask my family members. that's all. i just tell them not to believe you and ask my brother and sister how you are like at home. that's all. how many times do you give half a story? how about ALWAYS. look, you cant even take it when the psychologist tell you that you are wrong. you said the psychologist sucked. you have a serious problem you know. you are so deluded by yourself that you can't even see your mistakes. even when you are wrong. like blaming me for not helping you carry the carpet. firstly, I WAS studying and my siblings were having holidays and they were at home. secondly, IN THE FUCKING END I HELPED you. look who's the ungrateful person?

okay, the reason why im so not going to visit grandfather anymore is because of you. that's right. im done. i dont even want to explain myself anymore. seriously. portray me as an evil child. i dont give a shit. but remember, its because of you. and i really cannot be bothered anymore. always say one side. and make it seem like you were right when its NOT even the whole truth. and i cannot be bothered to visit my relatives anymore because you have brainwashed them into thinking im bad. so i dont care. really. i was hurt. that was a WAS. now its forget it. oh and dont think i dont know you pocketed the $1000 ah gong intended to give me. I read the cheques you asked me to post ok. so dont start telling people that i anyhow spend the money when i never even receive it. im sure you're gonna tell grandfather that im damn bad ad maybe he'll tell u not to pass me the money. you know what i hate about you? you make grandfather scold me for something i never do. and that makes me so mad at you. so so much. you made grandmother think that gabriel is a bad boy. you made her think im damn bad too. and i really hate you and your stupid mouth for spreading untruths. you like to give people false impressions of me. i know because i dont agree with everything you say and im always fighting against you head on. in a way you are EXACTLY like the PAP that you condemn. refusing you accept your faults and imposing on people.

oh yeah, and talking about not interested in family things, please hor. that very night where did you go? you got go see ah gong ah. also never. somehow, your things are also more important then family huh. so im guessing its genetics? and secondly, i messsaged you in the afternoon what time must we go to pray for grandmother and you DID NOT REPLY. so please stop accusing people for things that you are similarly guilty of.

always devoid of logic.

YEAH and i share the same sentiments as you. i DONT WANT YOU TO FOLLOW ME TO CZECH. SO DAMNIT CHANGE THE DAMN DATE OF THE FLIGHT TO THE 9th! i dont see why i must go earlier.

I DONT WANT TO LEAVE SO EARLY.

please mother, stop relying on people's obedience to you as your means of gaining happiness especially when you anyhow accuse them of things they never do.

and fine, i will clear my room. i admit my room is messy and its my fault that its messy. but i still want a damn apology from you for anyhow accusing me. i know you NEVER apologise. and i want this to be your first step to learning from your mistakes and to learn to stop pushing the blame to others.

2011-08-12T04:18:00.003+08:00

last saturday, went to gabriel's tai ma birthday.. lol feels abit weird. but nonetheless, his great grandmother was so happy and healthy and looked so young! seriously dont look 92 AT ALL. not even one bit!

oh that morning, gabriel made sandwiches for me cos i skipped breakfast! so nice! thank you dear!

national day, went out with baby, justin, germ, hian chong and qing heng.

quite cooling that day.. then gabriel super nice to me..
there is this china couple that give free show..
qh wanted to bring gab to go see the rag and flag!
gab almost went! but luckily never...

haha then they planned a trip to malaysia...
though its abit selfish, im happy that gab doesnt wanna go... yeah lor.. last few days spend with me mah!!

oh dear, i dunno how to survive sial.. its like i must rip off this dependency on baby. i really must be independent! no one to talk to me 24/7. no one to hug/smell/thehh/pour water/accompany/put me as priority/take care/do the sha boom sha boom dance. haix. seriously, dunno what i was thinking.

oh then we went to eat dessert along bugis. on the way there, we got trapped in a jam. i waved to a lady in a volvo apparently a UN delegate's car and she smiled back. she was originally seriously tapping on her iphone. but looked up and smiled when i waved at her! i guess she's a delegate that attended ndp and was on her way home. anyway, super nonsense. the jam was caused they blocked up the road and forced everyone to u turn. yeah even the volvo chauffeuring the UN personnel was trapped in this meaningless jam.

then today, went for astronomy talk with baby!
learnt abit more on maeson, haydron, quark, etc. love it.
rmb. poisson is everything! lol. more like everything follows poisson distribution.
then went to jack's place! and after that while waiting for weiji, we sing song under the hdb like matt siall...

then went kbox with weiji and jac then shuming joined after..
went to smu to collect the b&j vouchers..
and shuming paid for dinner at sushi restaurant cos apparently he had a bet with weiji.. and weiji decided to eat with us!
then went cafe cartel..
then watched the cowboy and alien..
seriously nonsensical.. but i dont like to see shows where people are killed off like pawns in a game. feels horrible..
i dont usually care when watching these shows but
recently keep thinking about those bad things that might happen..
so feel kinda sensitive. =/ i rather much watch comedies.
sian.. i want to be happy and joyful and stop thinking about negative thoughts!
seriously... how to get rid of them!!!

then ended with heart to heart talk with weiji.
learnt some stuffs. and im even more paranoid. haix.

2011-08-05T00:47:00.002+08:00

Honey

Honey is good for cuts and scrapes. It has three powerful components: sugar for absorbing moisture so bacteria can’t survive, hydrogen peroxide to disinfect and propolis to kill bacteria. Plus, the honey dries to form a natural bandage. Just spread thickly over the infected area.

Olive Oil

Olive oil is actually the basis of many skin moisturizers. For eczema, rub olive oil on the skin to keep it from drying out.

Spicy dish

Good for a stuffy nose or congestion, spicy dishes loosen the mucus by making the eyes and nose run.

Garlic

Garlic is antiviral, antifungal, antibacterial and an antioxidant so it has many uses. Take garlic when you have a cold to fight the infection and boost the immune system. Mix together minced garlic, warm water and honey for taste. Leave the garlic in the mixture for a few minutes then swallow without chewing. Another way of taking it is by chewing raw garlic cloves with honey. Repeat every two to three hours. Garlic can also be used for athlete’s foot due to its antifungal nature. Simply rub a clove of raw garlic to the affected area.

Baking Soda

Baking soda is used to remove odor so it makes weird sense that you use it for body odor as well. Sprinkling baking soda on your armpits and feet will reduce the moisture you produce.

Chamomile Tea

Wrapping cold, wet tea bags in paper towels can help sooth itchy eyes from colds or hay fever. The tannic acid in tea reduces the itch. Chamomile tea can also be used for calluses. Soak your feet in a diluted chamomile tea bath to soften the hard skin.

Ginger

Ginger has anti-sickness properties so it can help in nausea. Pregnant women can also relieve morning sickness by taking ginger biscuits.

Turmeric

Turmeric is good for treating many skin ailments. It can be used to sooth acne, scrapes and sunburn. Mix several drops of water with ½ teaspoon of powdered turmeric to make a thin paste. Apply the mixture on the blemishes or sunburn and leave for an hour. Be sure to rinse after because turmeric stains.

Rice Water

Bangladeshis have been using rice water as a treatment for diarrhea forever. The proteins in the rice help stabilize the bowel and it’s tastier than any medicine.

Banana

Who knew that aside from being a yummy snack, bananas can be used for bug bites? All you have to do is eat the fruit and apply the banana peel fruit side down on the bite. Hold it there until the itching subsides.

2011-08-05T00:47:00.001+08:00

A FATHER'S RULES FOR FINDING FULFILLMENT

Be courteous, be punctual, always say please and thank you, and be sure to hold your knife and fork properly. Others take their cue on how to treat you from your manners.
Be kind, considerate and compassionate when others are in trouble, even if you have problems of your own. Others will admire your selflessness and will help you in due course.

Show moral courage. Do what is right, even if that makes you unpopular. I always thought it important to be able to look at myself in the shaving mirror every morning and not feel guilt or remorse. I depart this world with a pretty clear conscience.

Show humility. Stand your ground but pause to reflect on what the other side are saying, and back off when you know you are wrong. Never worry about losing face. That only happens when you are pig-headed.
Learn from your mistakes. You will make plenty so use them as a learning tool. If you keep making the same mistake or run into a problem, you’re doing something wrong.

Avoid disparaging someone to a third party; it is only you who will look bad. If you have a problem with someone, tell them face to face.

Hold fire! If someone crosses you, don’t react immediately. Once you say something it can never be taken back, and most people deserve a second chance.

Have fun. If this involves taking risks, so be it. If you get caught, hold your hands up.

Give to charity and help those who are less fortunate than yourselves: it’s easy and so rewarding.

Always look on the upside! The glass is half full, never half empty. Every adversity has a silver lining if you seek it out.

Make it your instinct always to say ‘yes’. Look for reasons to do something, not reasons to say no. Your friends will cherish you for that.

Be canny: you will get more of what you want if you can give someone more of what they desire. Compromise can be king.

Always accept a party invitation. You may not want to go, but they want you there. Show them courtesy and respect.

Never ever let a friend down. I would bury bodies for my friends, if they asked me to . . . which is why I have chosen them carefully.

Always tip for good service. It shows respect. But never reward poor service. Poor service is insulting.

Always treat those you meet as your social equal, whether they are above or below your station in life. For those above you, show due deference, but don’t be a sycophant.

Always respect age, as age equals wisdom.

Be prepared to put the interests of your sibling first.

Be proud of who you are and where you come from, but open your mind to other cultures and languages. When you begin to travel (as I hope you will), you’ll learn that your place in the world is both vital and insignificant. Don’t get too big for your breeches.

Be ambitious, but not nakedly so. Be prepared to back your assertions with craftsmanship and hard work.

Live every day to its full: do something that makes you smile or laugh, and avoid procrastination.

Give of your best at school. Some teachers forget that pupils need incentives. So if your teacher doesn’t give you one, devise your own.

Always pay the most you can afford. Never skimp on hotels, clothing, shoes, make-up or jewellery. But always look for a deal. You get what you pay for.

Never give up! My two little soldiers have no dad, but you are brave, big-hearted, fit and strong. You are also loved by an immensely kind and supportive team of family and friends. You make your own good fortune, my children, so battle on.

Never feel sorry for yourself, or at least don’t do it for long. Crying doesn’t make things better.

Look after your body and it will look after you.

Learn a language, or at least try. Never engage a person abroad in conversation without first greeting them in their own language; by all means ask if they speak English!

2011-07-22T23:47:00.004+08:00

i dont like it when people take my things and dont tell me.
worse, deny and then look awkward after that.
wah, inconvenient me then dont wanna take responsibility. pui.

wtf. i ask jason too. guilty much?
anyway, this applies to EVERYONE who does this.
if you arent guilty, then why so affected?
and please i dont mean just today, one day hor.

2011-07-18T03:18:00.000+08:00

really glad my friend decided to do the right thing after all. yes, its tough to step forward and face the music and yes, he might hate me for what i have done. but he should know that he would have avoided it if i havent intervened and that the situation would have been blown up even bigger and his family would have been dragged into this whole thing and he might have been sued if he didnt deal with this issue.

Im really really proud of him for plucking up the courage to call the girl's dad. he got the scolding he deserved. and he did sincerely apologize to the girl already. yup. really happy that he chose the right path.

people make mistakes yes, but it takes courage to own up to your mistake and learn from them. and to say sorry to the people you have forsaken. that, i am glad. have you been let off so easily, the degree of severity of your actions could not be felt and there would be a second time. for i know you already have a false alarm once but disregarded it which translated to this mess.

anyway, i forgive you for what you have said to me that day. i understand they were said out of anger.

2011-07-13T00:22:00.005+08:00

OMG. i am so bloody pissed okay. i gave my stupid friend QWC face because i thought he was scared. SCARED MY BLOODY ASS AH SCARED. SO DAMN PISSED OFF WITH HIM. if he doesnt at least apologise to his gf, really, I DOUBT WE CAN EVER BE FRIENDS AGAIN. I am thankful for all he has done for me in the past. but i dont think i can let myself ever be friends with people with NO CONSCIENCE. I WAS WRONG. I THOUGHT HE HAD A HEART. RUBBISH. I THOUGHT HE STUBBORN DO WRONG THINGS AND BE SELFISH TO PROTECT HIMSELF, NVM JUST AS LONG AS HE DOESNT HURT PEOPLE. NO, HIS SELFISHNESS includes hurting people. wtf. i think the girl also lucky never marry him sia. SUAY SUAY SUAY.

i told the gf if she going for abortion and scared then she can call me. BUT WHO knows, i had tuition when she called. (because the phone is in my bag) then when i realise after tuition, i couldnt contact her because she switched off her phone. she had earlier told me that she had gone with her aunt to the clinic for abortion. then i was very scared that if her aunt bring her home, then when she's alone, she xiang bu kai. go commit suicide. because it was one and a half hours past her abortion appointment and her phone was still off.

then i was very scared that if she xiang bu kai because she had relied on me to give her support and i wasnt there when she needed me the most despite me promising to, i will be guilty for the rest of my life.

so i called the inhuman person to ask him if he had anybody's contact like the girl's sister or parents but i started out telling him my problem like about his gf going for an abortion and i wasnt there to help her. and guess what.

he said. ‘can you dont contact her? can you dont care about her?’ not only did he sound at peace and unremorseful, not worried or concerned at all. he actually tried to reprimand me like that. i was damn pissed okay. i gave him face because i thought he was scared, no, that doesnt sound like a guy who is scared. that sounds like a bastard trying to run away from his responsibility and push everything under the carpet.

i told him off man. everything i had tried to suppress to give him face all came out. seriously. damn pissed. why should i care about his feelings when he doesnt even care about the girl he made pregnant? HUH?

so i told him off ’ its precisely because you dont care that’s why i care. im your friend and this is your baby. you dont care about it but i do. you are not here to see anything, but i did. i followed your gf to the clinic for checkup. i saw the picture of the baby scan.’

then he kept saying ‘what you want? and dont mess with my business.’ seriously. you tell me, are you even dealing with your own business? are you a guy anot.

I was so pissed i continued scolding him ‘can you tell me that the baby is not yours? seriously?’ no answer. ‘tell me, did you do it with l anot’ and then he scolded me say ‘this is none of your business’ if you really did nothing, why cant you tell me no? you cant because you know i know the truth. you can tell everyone no but me. because you know i have evidence and i overheard the conversation you had with l.

he then kept saying ‘can you give me some time?’ i said ‘yes, you want sometime, yes i can give you. you just tell me how long you want.’ then he said ‘can you stop it. you sound like l (his gf)’

side note, l, told me before that whenever she asked wc for an answer whether to keep or abort, he would say give him some time. damn you qwc. NO TIME hor. especially now you siam like shit and somemore siam without a conscience.

then he carry on ‘jasmine if you continue to be crazy, i will put down on you.’ then i told him ‘you think you are right right. if you think you are, you go tell justin the truth.’ then he put down on me.

idiot. really damn angry. i tell you seriously, this bloody immoral character of his will land him in HOT soup one day. bastard. seriously bastard.

im not pissed with him cos he made the girl pregnant. im pissed because he made a grave mistake and is so nonchalant, no worse than that, he actually feels he has done nothing wrong. and that running away and covering his tracks is the right way to do things.

and yes, i am recording everything down here because i want to remember it. just in case in the future, you come and twist the truth again.

took the last part from my tumblr cos i dont have the energy to rewrite the whole thing.

2011-07-13T00:22:00.004+08:00

OMG. i am so bloody pissed okay. i gave my stupid friend QWC face because i thought he was scared. SCARED MY BLOODY ASS AH SCARED. SO DAMN PISSED OFF WITH HIM. if he doesnt at least apologise to his gf, really, I DOUBT WE CAN EVER BE FRIENDS AGAIN. I am thankful for all he has done for me in the past. but i dont think i can let myself ever be friends with people with NO CONSCIENCE. I WAS WRONG. I THOUGHT HE HAD A HEART. RUBBISH. I THOUGHT HE STUBBORN DO WRONG THINGS AND BE SELFISH TO PROTECT HIMSELF, NVM JUST AS LONG AS HE DOESNT HURT PEOPLE. NO, HIS SELFISHNESS includes hurting people. wtf. i think the girl also lucky never marry him sia. SUAY SUAY SUAY.

i told the gf if she going for abortion and scared then she can call me. BUT WHO knows, i had tuition when she called. (because the phone is in my bag) then when i realise after tuition, i couldnt contact her because she switched off her phone. she had earlier told me that she had gone with her aunt to the clinic for abortion. then i was very scared that if her aunt bring her home, then when she's alone, she xiang bu kai. go commit suicide. because it was one and a half hours past her abortion appointment and her phone was still off.

then i was very scared that if she xiang bu kai because she had relied on me to give her support and i wasnt there when she needed me the most despite me promising to, i will be guilty for the rest of my life.

so i called the inhuman person to ask him if he had anybody's contact like the girl's sister or parents but i started out telling him my problem like about his gf going for an abortion and i wasnt there to help her. and guess what.

he said. ‘can you dont contact her? can you dont care about her?’ not only did he sound at peace and unremorseful, not worried or concerned at all. he actually tried to reprimand me like that. i was damn pissed okay. i gave him face because i thought he was scared, no, that doesnt sound like a guy who is scared. that sounds like a bastard trying to run away from his responsibility and push everything under the carpet.

i told him off man. everything i had tried to suppress to give him face all came out. seriously. damn pissed. why should i care about his feelings when he doesnt even care about the girl he made pregnant? HUH?

so i told him off ’ its precisely because you dont care that’s why i care. im your friend and this is your baby. you dont care about it but i do. you are not here to see anything, but i did. i followed your gf to the clinic for checkup. i saw the picture of the baby scan.’

then he kept saying ‘what you want? and dont mess with my business.’ seriously. you tell me, are you even dealing with your own business? are you a guy anot.

I was so pissed i continued scolding him ‘can you tell me that the baby is not yours? seriously?’ no answer. ‘tell me, did you do it with l anot’ and then he scolded me say ‘this is none of your business’ if you really did nothing, why cant you tell me no? you cant because you know i know the truth. you can tell everyone no but me. because you know i have evidence and i overheard the conversation you had with l.

he then kept saying ‘can you give me some time?’ i said ‘yes, you want sometime, yes i can give you. you just tell me how long you want.’ then he said ‘can you stop it. you sound like l (his gf)’

side note, l, told me before that whenever she asked wc for an answer whether to keep or abort, he would say give him some time. damn you qwc. NO TIME hor. especially now you siam like shit and somemore siam without a conscience.

then he carry on ‘jasmine if you continue to be crazy, i will put down on you.’ then i told him ‘you think you are right right. if you think you are, you go tell justin the truth.’ then he put down on me.

idiot. really damn angry. i tell you seriously, this bloody immoral character of his will land him in HOT soup one day. bastard. seriously bastard.

im not pissed with him cos he made the girl pregnant. im pissed because he made a grave mistake and is so nonchalant, no worse than that, he actually feels he has done nothing wrong. and that running away and covering his tracks is the right way to do things.

and yes, i am recording everything down here because i want to remember it. just in case in the future, you come and twist the truth again.

took the last part from tumblr cos i dont have the energy to rewrite the whole thing.

2011-07-12T10:52:00.001+08:00

today, i did accomplished the best deed i've ever done in my whole life.

I think i helped changed someone's life. and hopefully saved someone's life.

today i brought my friend's gf to the women's specialist clinic.
to check if there was any complications to her pregnancy and to confirm the pregnancy as well as find out how far along the kid was.
I felt i should really find if my friend was lying or the girl was lying.
As much as my logic tells me that my friend is lying
(he said that he never even do it with her and confirmed that there is no baby started spinning a story that the girl was out to get his money. and i told him if she was out to get his money, just dont give her money for abortion, if there's no baby scared for what. i mean 9 mths later the game will confirm be up.
then i asked him if he did go to the doctor with the girl to see if she was pregnant before he left for aus. he said he did but he say that the results were rigged. that the girl take medicine to fake the results. I just confirmed with the doctor today that there is no such thing. the doctor even did a scan for the baby and there is was, like a little comma. wtf i feel so sad you know so sad. the worst thing is that the guy who made her pregnant made up such a story to make her sound so evil and scheming when she is the victim. and while he can happily escape the pressure in australia, she has to be the center of if all. really i cannot take it. seriously.)

I really had hoped to a certain extent that the girl was lying considering i know this friend for quite long and was quite close to him. as expected, it was my friend who lied. utterly disappointed in him.

I know he is scared. but hey, you are overseas and this girl has the baby GROWING inside of her. WHO is more scared i ask you? the fear you are going through, she's going through it like at least 10 times more.

I really feel super sorry for the girl. I dunno how to compensate her for the feeling of tremendous devastation when you are unloved the moment you are pregnant with the guy's kid. I feel so sorry for the girl and i cant help but keep saying sorry to her on my friend's behalf. seriously. damn disappointed. If this friend ever ask me to intro girls to him again. I will personally cut off his dick.

I really hope that all girls be really cautious when it comes to guys. ALWAYS know a guy thoroughly BEFORE he starts courting you. meaning you must know him and how he behaves even when you are not around and before he likes you.

2011-07-09T10:56:00.004+08:00

i found out that my friend's gf is one month preg. ok the gf is also my friend and i wish my friend will stop freaking out and do the right thing.

I mean if you are scared that it will 'jeapardise' your future, you can put it into foster care first. there is no way it will jeapardise it.

If you are scared that you will get scolded, think about it, does it justify killing your own kid? you did something wrong, definitely, you have to be at the very least reprimanded. but you cannot just to escape go abort your kid and pretend nothing happen.

it has happened and you need to realise that.

as friends, we will definitely support you. but while you have the right to decide what's gonna happen next, we sincerely hope you make the right choice.

we know you have a heart. and that's why we want you to make the right decision.

2011-06-29T00:50:00.002+08:00

yesterday went out with the girls from my uni clique and we went to eat.
oh wells.
gabriel must be damn glad im not very materialistic. hahaha.
and i buy us meals quite alot of times alr also.

then today gabriel and i went to kbox.
and i think i have another talent for rapping.
sorry baby for criticizing you!
then baby is so innocent!
he doesnt know that just because the woman said 2-5 at first
(*we were going for the student kala thing meaning can extend to max 7pm)
then we somemore added 12 bucks for an extra hour then he wanted to leave at 6.
LOL. even though the girl said last song but then the screen never put last song
means we can continue singing lah!
omg. lolololl. too honest. haha. not that we were going to be dishonest.
haha. and he's so paranoid everytime i just continue singing.
no, i dont think my singing is so bad he just wanna escape.
i mean if you think about it, we should end only at arnd 8pm.
because the kala thing if got no people can extend until 7pm then we added another 12 bucks for an extra hour.

so anyway, something happen just now.
a joke to be exact.
gabriel's parents always ask him to do house work
and today, his mother ask him to keep the clothes but he never,
so i helped him keep instead.
feeling guilty, gabriel say to me 'come i help you.'
then i tell him 'im the one helping you lor!'
then his brother say 'yeah, gabriel, you very bad'
then his mother agree with the brother say 'yeah lor'

then gabriel tell everybody 'i become emo child then you all know ah'
then his mother super funny, innocently ask him 'huh? why you become zhou hua jian'
then everybody stun.
LOL.
because the mother dont understand what is emo.
but she knows that zhou hua jian english name is emil chau so she heard emo child as emil chau.

LOLOLOLL. super cannot stop laughing.

2011-06-27T02:38:00.002+08:00

omg i dropped my phone in the sink yesterday and it ki siaoed. so sad this report only came out today.

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/splash-gadget-gets-wet-181203002.html

Everyone knows that gadgets and water don't get along. But fear not, all may not be lost when your smartphone, digital camera or other tech device takes an unexpected nose dive into the pool or ocean. Resuscitation can still be done with the help of a few key tips.
Although your gut reaction may be to take the battery out of your drenched device, dry it off and try it again, the battery should remain out until it's completely dry to avoid a shortage. Then use a towel to not only dry the battery, but also the area inside the device where the battery sits.
However, resist all temptation to pick up a hair dryer or let the device sit in the sun to help along the drying process. Gadgets need to be dried with still, dry air, not with excess heat.
Drying the device shouldn't stop with just cleaning up the wet areas. Place the device into a covered bowl or container of dry, uncooked rice to soak up all of the moisture from the device. It should sit there overnight in a cool, dry place.
Uncover the container the next morning, remove the device and hope for the best.

i totally didnt do what they say. i just panicked and tried switching on the phone immediately and i guessed there was a short circuit. bleah

2011-06-27T01:55:00.006+08:00

okay, shall continue my ramblings here for the sake of making my holiday seem packed and not only filled with tuition. =/

so anyway, on tuesday, 14th june. went to have tea with xiuting. unfortunately couldnt enjoy the whole day cos my dad kept calling me to arrange to go to malaysia on wed to do my visa. omg i wanna complain!!! dii and shaf seafood

wed malaysia to do visa

thursday mom's birthday

fri- got my cat and green lantern

sat- visit ah gong see katie

sun- father's day dinner

monday gab father's day chi restaurant

thursday-found out weiji got accident follow pam jie go sdp

friday- justin house bak kut teh

sat- chloe tuition brendon arcade

sun - jason birthday

2011-06-18T15:38:00.002+08:00

okay, some random update.

last day of malaysia, went to eat at some awesome seafood place. must book in advance and they awesome free chili crab. Note to self, please go there.

THen went to KL on wednesday, like 2 days after coming back from malaysia to do czech visa. =.=
Our driver looked like a gangster. and im pretty sure he has tattoos all over his arms cos he keeps wearing long sleeve even though the weather is so FREAKING hot.
so anyway, the embassy was at a building called the intermark. the intermark was quite a cool place. damn atas. then to go upstairs, they would take a picture of you using this damn cool webcam that look like some alien periscopic eye that can turn and focus when operated by the receptionist.Okay, so here's where my complain start.
the czech embassy is only open from 9-11 on monday and 1-3 on wednesday. so we had to wake up damn freaking early to kl. miraculously, we reached at 1130 or so. then we asked to wait there or at least get a number to get priority later. but no, the woman inside say cannot we must physically be there at 1pm. then fine, we went to eat then have to re-register and went up again at 12:35.
Then she still say that we're too early and ask us to sit outside ON THE FLOOR when there are empty couches inside. DAMN LOUSY SERVICE RIGHT. omg. and alvin 's leg was injured.

okay then after finish the visa thing, when we're on the way back, our driver kena stopped by police when he go toilet. and we were debating in the car whether he was a wanted man. because right, there was another guy that fetched us from singapore to jb then when we were having breakfast, they changed driver.

okay, but in the end never.
anyway, the one way trip to kl to do visa and come back took us 13 hrs. not too bad lah. only backside pain! and i wanna thank baby for going there specially to accompany me! :)

then we went to buy my mom's birthday present and gabriel parked his car in a random slot that he thought is a parking lot but its not.

and

2011-06-11T21:12:00.003+08:00

Today's Damn boring.

anyway, the only good thing that happened today is that I bought my winter stuffs though. A pair of boots and a winter jacket.

Okay, we made up. she promised not to irritate me anymore. I think shopping is really the only time we can bond well. Haha. So anyway, I bought presents for my mom and my bros. I wanted to get a wire name thing for gabriel but it was a super failed plan.

It started out like this. We went to jongker street to do some last min shopping at night. And I wanted something like a keychain that bi can use when I'm in czech. So we reached this shop with and old guy there. Then he said 5 letters and below, 5 Rm, 6 letters, 6rm 7 and above, 8rm. So I wanted to buy the word gabriel, which happens to be 7 letters. I see abit Bo hua so I asked for a heart shape at the back. Then I was allowed to choose a bell. I choose purple. Then the guy said should choose pink what. Then I thought oh yeah, why should I buy gabriel for gabriel. I should buy jasmine for gabriel, then again I think its really lame to make my name and give to him. But I kept changing so I stuck to it. at that time is was arnd 10:50. Sand he said will take quite long so I asked him what time he closes so I can collect. He said 12mn. So then when I wanted to leave the hotel at 11:35 to collect my dad followed me. Like reluctantly but no choice kinda thing. then we reached arnd 11:50 but he haven't even started. Then my dad got pissed and demanded the money back.

So sorry baby, only u no present. But I managed to kope some discarded wire and hopefully make a nicer one for u! But this time, I won't write a name but a msg!

2011-06-11T00:33:00.002+08:00

hi dear! I'm staying in the house they used to film the little nonya! I will flare my nostrils in all the photos I take Tmr. But anyway, my hotel room is super duper extremely spacious and nice!!! I took a few photos to show u!

We had nonya food for lunch. Honestly, apart from the 'chilli' crab (which is totally not spicy, I can even drink the sauce on its own), the food taste like shit to me. So I only eat the crab and ate more crab and seafood for dinner. Then we saw people cooking horseshoe crab. U know the ancient prehistoric crab?!? Yeah and we saw super big ham. Oh then we bought a rainbow mohawk wig! And we forced my father to wear it. Super cool!
Ok, that's all for today. Tmr must wake up super early! Damn sian. Miss u lots!

2011-06-08T22:46:00.000+08:00

very bbleah. Damn sad. results sure chui liao.
Really max worried for com methods and civil material. I'm so argh. Wtf. Curiosity kills the cat okay.

2011-05-31T22:33:00.004+08:00

okay so let me continue my week.

on saturday went to volunteer at sdp. initially joined with my cousin to find out more about sdp. was kinda disappointed at how things were structured. but I'm glad i could take part in the discussion.

on sunday, went out with my ex-student

monday, went with gabriel, justin, germ, wc, lynette and hian chong to uss.

thursday shin came to my house to bake muffins

on fri went to za workshop then passed justin they all muffins. and yay damn happy. lynette and wei chong got me a dress fro taiwan! :)

on monday, went out with my classmates to town and ate oche

went to kbox with weichong and lynette.

friday morning, off to malaysia!

2011-05-31T14:03:00.006+08:00

omg. im fucking pissed okay. all i did this morning was to remind my father that i needed $55 to pay for translation of my cncc. wtf and he started scolding/threatening me for not appreciating him. now, you must think i asked it aggressively or i demanded the money right? WRONG. i was walking happily down the stairs and all i said was 'Pa (see, a nice warm salutaion) erm later my friend coming down to pick up the money and the cncc for translation. so can pass me the money?' then he started threatening me. WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK. SERIOUSLY, omg. so mad okay. and then he started lamenting about how im the most unappreciative person at home and always ask for money. FUCK YOU seriously. firstly, i've been the MOST appreciative in the family gabriel can vouch for that BECAUSE I ALWAYS FUCKING TELL HIM HOW BLOODY FUCKING KIND YOU ARE WHENEVER YOU HELPED ME EVEN FOR THE FUCKING SMALLEST THING THAT YOU DO LIKE BUY BANANA FOR ME. and how about i NEVER ASK FOR MONEY. mummy promised me that you will help me with my trip to czech republic in terms of money. because admin fee alone is fucking alot. spent like $200 plus just to get the cncc translated and endorsed. FUCKED UP YOU KNOW SERIOUSLY. if you wanna scold me for being lazy/messy, i still can accept. BUT ALL YOUR FUCKING ACCUSATIONS ARE FUCKING FAR FETCHED AND UNCALLED FOR.

look, WHO ELSE IN THIS FUCKING FAMILY SAY THANK YOU MORE THAN ME? OR SHOW APPRECIATION MORE THAN ME? THAT DAY I SEE YOU TRYING TO CLEAN MY ROOM AND I FELT BAD AND TOOK OVER. EVEN AS YOU SCOLDED ME FOR RIDICULOUS THINGS, DID I SAY A THING? NO. I DIDNT EVEN RETALIATE BECAUSE I FELT THANKFUL THAT YOU ACTUALLY WANTED TO HELP ME CLEAR MY ROOM AND I ACTUALLY FUCKING FELT THAT IT JUSTIFIED you SCOLDING ME FOR RETARDED/UNTRUE STUFF. FUCK. WHICH OF YOUR OTHER FAMILY MEMBER DO THAT. NONE okay. not only that. PLEASE KNOW WHO DEMAND YOU TO DO THINGS FOR THEM AND WHO DONT. SINCE FUCKING WHEN I DEMANDED YOU ALL TO DO THINGS FOR ME. SERIOUSLY, THEY FUCKING HAVE MEMORY PROBLEM OR SMTHN. WHO IS IT THAT ALWAYS DEMAND TUITION MONEY NOW NOW NOW? MY SIBLINGS BUT NOT ME COS I DONT EVEN DEMAND IN THE FIRST PLACE TO HAVE A BLOODY TUITION TEACHER. AND THAT DAY, MY SISTER PRESSURIZE MY MOTHER TO DRY HER PE SHIRT COS SHE NEEDED IT AND SHE WAS THE ONE WHO SCOLDED MY MOTHER. THEN, AT NIGHT MY MOTHER SCOLDED ME FOR PRESSURIZING HER AND FOR NOT WASHING MY OWN CLOTHES. WHAT THE FUCKING HELL. FIRSTLY, I WASNT THE ONE WHO PRESSURIZED HER AND I HAVE NEVER EVER FUCKING SCOLDED MY MOTHER FOR TAKING TOO LONG TO WASH CLOTHES. SECONDLY, I HAVE BEEN WASHING MY OWN CLOTHES COS I WANTED TO REDUCE MY MOTHER'S LAUNDRY LOAD. GABRIEL AND MY CLASSMATES CAN VOUCH FOR THAT BECAUSE MY FUCKING HANDS ARE FUCKING DRY AND FLAKY COS THE SOAP POWDER ATTACKS MY HAND EVERY TIME I FUCKING HAND WASH MY OWN CLOTHES BECAUSE MY MOM DOESNT WANT ME TO USE THE WASHING MACHINE COS IT WILL 'WASTE WATER'. WHO ELSE DOES THIS? NOT EVEN MY BRO IN ARMY.

NEXT, THE MONEY THING. FUCK. the LAST THING I LIKE TO DO IS TAKE MONEY FROM MY PARENTS. YEAH, im pretty calculative when it comes to my classmates/friends because i earn JUST ENOUGH TO PAY FOR MY OWN TRANSPORT FARE AND PHONE BILL AND MY EXPENSES LIKE SHAMPOO ETC. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO TAKING MONEY FROM MY PARENTS IM BLOODY RELUCTANT. you know my dad promised me to ups my 'pocket money' by 50 bucks each time i get good results, he DIDNT AND I DIDNT EVEN ASK FOR IT. BECAUSE IM CONTENTED WITH WHAT I HAVE. PLEASE OKAY IF I REALLY FUCKING LIKE TO TAKE MONEY FOR MY PARENTS I WOULD HAVE JUST DEMANDED IT (and i dont think im exactly wrong since he promised it. BUT I FUCKING DIDNT BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO TAKE UNNECESSARY MONEY WHEN ITS FUCKING NOT NEEDED). BUT ITS BECAUSE ITS ONLY LOGICAL THAT I FUCKING CANNOT AFFORD TO PAY ALL THE ADMIN FEE/INSURANCE FOR MY TRIP TO CZECH and THAT'S WHY I NEED HELP RIGHT. PLUS IT WAS URGENT AND I FUCKING DONT HAVE MONEY WITH ME COS I DIDNT WITHDRAW AND I DONT LIVE NEAR ANYWHERE THAT FUCKING HAS IT. AND ITS NOT LIKE I JUST TOLD HIM TODAY, THIS MORNING, I TOLD HIM YESTERDAY ALREADY AND JUST REMINDED HIM TODAY.

THEN I CALMED DOWN. AND I ASKED GABRIEL WHAT HE THINKS I HAVE DONE IN CASE I HAVENT BEEN OBJECTIVE. GABRIEL SAYS HE DOESNT KNOW AND RECOMMENDED THAT I ASKED MY DAD DIRECTLY AND I DID AND ALL HE SAID WAS 'YOU OWNSELF THINK LAH.' THEN I TOLD HIM STILL NICELY THAT 'DUNNO WHAT I DID SO CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT I DID SO THAT YOU DONT FEEL THIS WAY NEXT TIME?' AND HE STILL FUCKING AGGRESSIVELY SAY THAT I OWNSELF THINK. WHAT THE FUCK SERIOUSLY. I REALLY FUCKING DUNNO.AND I FEEL THAT I HAVE BEEN APPRECIATIVE ENOUGH AND IN FACT, I FEEL THAT YOU HAVENT BEEN APPRECIATING MY APPRECIATION. AND IF ITS BECAUSE YOU CANT THINK OF AN EXAMPLE OF HOW I AM UNAPPRECIATIVE TOWARDS YOU, THEN ADMIT IT. STOP FUCKING BEING IN DENIAL. IF YOU ARE JUST USING ME TO VENT YOUR ANGER, JUST ADMIT IT AND APOLOGISE. (though i know you wont, but at least start treating me better)

seriously, i just need to curse here. FUCKED UP OKAY FUCKED UP. I KNOW YOU ARE BIASED, and YOU KNOW YOU ARE FUCKING BIAS. AND I DONT REALLY GIVE A FUCK ABOUT IT. BUT WHAT FUCKING AFFECTS ME IS THAT YOU FUCKING ACCUSE ME OF THINGS I NEVER COMMIT FOR NO RHYME OR REASON.

2011-05-27T23:55:00.003+08:00

been a REALLY busy week!

first had the eid on tuesday. we didnt win anything though the lecturers all loved our idea. sigh, so sad we didnt have the common sense to bribe people with candies and souvenir. i guess we thought that EID was one that people vote for the best and most feasible idea and not one that gives out the most freebies. oh wells, so sad next generation gonna be conned off during elections for carrots. BUT WE KNOW THAT OUR EID PROJECT IS THE MOST AWESOME and SUPERIOR to the rest. as in seriously. the rest is not as well thought out as ours. and ours is definitely the most feasible one as well. and we have awesome prototypes. c'mon please. which our group has a LIFE SIZE PROTOTYPE. we even calculated the stress for it to buckle and everything. pffft. what a bias project module. it should totally be graded purely by the profs.

Then tuesday was gabriel appreciation day part 1. why its broken up into 2 days is because on tuesday, gabriel has to go give tuition at night and i had to go home to celebrate my bro's birthday. and boy did my bro choose the right place to celebrate! its at le gourmet and he received an awesome surprise from the owner. you know how swensens give you free ice cream on your birthday? THIS IS BETTER!!! that guy whipped up an awesome dessert that's probably worth like more than $20! its really high class standard. i know because gabriel brought me to halia restaurant to eat atas food and the dessert that cost $16 looked so chui compared to this. oh then received my online package that looks nice!

i <3 le gourmet!

Then on wednesday, was gabriel appreciation day part 2. was damn emo in the morn because i felt i wasn't appreciated, ah the irony, but it all turned out well. had nice lunch in swensens with gabriel! <3 the mac and cheese is nice, but swensens deals aren't as sweet as cafe cartel(what we had for lunch the day before during the first appreciation day!). then off to daiso where he looked for ideas to make my present (so exciting!) while i find of a shelf to place all my stuffs and make my room neater. then gabriel had headache and i massaged it better!

Then today went out with shin and had an awesome time! :) went to bugis and SHOPPED ALOT. and because shin wanted to train herself to walk in heels, we both wore heels but really regretted because its so painful after awhile! so we pretended to go into a shoe shop to try out shoes but its actually really just to rest our feet! then ate at empire state. the clam vongole was nice! and then a guy approached me and said that his friend sitting somewhere(he pointed to somewhere i didnt even look where) wants to know me. and i said im attached without hesitation. HONOURED ANOT GABRIEL LOKE! so you must trust me when i go to czech republic. and point to note, the sky garden in iluma is so lame. it doesnt even over look anything.

recently feel really distant from most of my female classmates in school. perhaps they aren't as mature as me (not say i very mature) but seriously, can't clique cos i guess we have very different value system and im not willing to compromise mine for theirs. so sian. oh wells.

2011-05-22T12:21:00.003+08:00

omg. can't wait for this stupid eid to END officially.

im happy that my group is damn onz. and i hope that the result shows. like we get a result we deserve. I know everyone did their best. which is good. and i found out the suction cup force! :)

omg. faster end.. i've got so many things to do, so many people to meet.

2011-05-21T12:18:00.004+08:00

wah im so freaking pissed with some people. you wan to say nonsense. omg. then don't drag me to say it with you. pffffft.

and please im sure i do more than you so stop being difficult. pffft. if you dont think you can make sense, then DONT omg.

REALLY FREAKING HATE STUPID PEOPLE. that act smart and talk cock. shut up please. thanks.

2011-05-19T04:30:00.002+08:00

yes. im so happy pap seems to be trying to change.
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/blogs/singaporescene/pm-lee-unveils-major-cabinet-shake-101114853.html
while they have yet to change some of their policies, by changing the key positions (more like rearranging actually) shows that they have really considered singaporeans to reform the party.

while i know that some still critisizes lhl about being 'indecisive' etc, i think we should all give him some time and space to change. Admitting his mistakes on behalf of the party is the first step. we can only hope that he realises that the direction of the party should change too. furthermore, i would rather him than another person deemed 'more capable' as i believe experience is also a very important aspect and we anyway have to give the new person time to adjust too. so must as well give lhl a chance.

having said that one can only hope that this means that issues such as the foreign talent policy as well as the sky rocket property prices be improved with this new changes in the cabinet.

2011-05-13T01:26:00.000+08:00

omg. i dislike vivian balakrishnan so much.
i can't believe until now he is saying this kind of things.

"many PAP policies are right but their implementation and communication can be improved."

hello, u think people are dumb?
your policies ARE FLAWED. omg. don't try to con us into thinking its not and make us eat your nonsense again.
i once really thought that i had NO CHOICE but to slog my ass off so that i can afford a hdb.
or that i must stress myself up so much just to stay competitive. you know scholars are damn good with maths and physics. and im in ENGINEERING.

vivian, you either seriously have a BIG issue with your morals or you are just too blinded by your faith in the pap's policies.

irony of this statement:
"It's an affirmation of a lesson in humility for all politicians and never never take people for granted and never take people's feelings, hopes, fears and pain for granted and beyond policies and implementation, we need to make sure people will trust us."

TRUST YOU? you just said that you will make us accept the policies in a nice way.
hell no am i gonna trust you to make anymore right decisions.
havent this election taught you ANYTHING?

"Turning his attention to Holland-Bukit Timah GRC, Dr Balakrishnan said that his team will find out why 40 per cent of residents voted against them and sort out any issues residents may have."

is this gonna be a threat and by sorting out issues do you mean you're gonna force them to accept you and these policies?
honestly, you aren't someone that will admit your mistake. so most probably, you'll be forcing these 40% residents to conform to you policies.

seriously, if i were part of the 40%, i will just tell it to his face.
you sir,
are the reason why i did not and most probably will not vote pap.
after everything, you still do not and i reckon you never ever will listen to what the people have to say. until you decide to change your mindset, will i then consider voting for the pap.

obviously this guy hasn't learnt his lesson.
one more reason to dislike pap culture. it breeds this kind of thinking.

dearest pm lee hsien loong, i REALLY REALLY WANNA believe your promises.
but to really gain my trust completely, please reform his and other ministers with similar mindsets.

2011-05-11T22:33:00.002+08:00

i was sick today. but im very happy that my baby came to fetch me from school and take care of me the whole day.

but so sad, he is fury swiping me now

2011-05-10T18:15:00.003+08:00

yay. im so happy. lee hsien loong said that "We can't grow by increasing the work force indefinitely. There has to be some growth in the work force over time but our objective is also to increase incomes," at a lunch with senior corporate executives of the country's sovereign wealth fund GIC.

Hopefully when he meant raising incomes he meant it for singaporeans!

okay lah. i think this election really opened lhl eyes already. feels good that at least the government really is listening now.

and really, i kinda like lhl after this election.
as in i've always felt that he was kind, candid, better than lky at least.
however, the time before election, from reports and his interviews, i started to wonder why our pm isn't making sense!
but, during the election, i think he did get 'enlightened'.
he took a very different approach from his father,lee kuan yew.
instead of commanding, he reflected on the party.
and hopefully things will change. :)
thanks very much to george yeo too.

what i like about lhl is that, he is definitely more receptive than his dad, and gives me the feeling that he always wanna do the right thing.
but i reckon the reason why he hasn't been so well-liked despite his likable character, is perhaps because he was following the values the other pap members and his father were having.
he can't be blamed for this though because he was brought up to shoulder such heavy responsibilities and he definitely wanted to follow the safest system he knows to be effective which is the pap and his dad.
however, his dad's ideology and character was good for the early days of singapore which was disorderly.
Singapore now consists of singaporeans who are generally very law abiding and educated.
the pap contains ppl who aren't as morally upright as u and give u bad advice,u tend to have certain wrong beliefs tt isnt so representative of your true character

hopefully pap will reform and perhaps i'll vote for them in 5 years.

like my dad said, actually everyone wants to vote for pap. but recently, they have failed to meet the needs of the people and focused a little too much on 'making money'.

5 years, reform and maybe more ministers will be humble and come up with better policies that includes everyone.

p.s: george yeo might be moving out of politics. :(
he's a good man. but its really sad that the pap manipulated him and indirectly caused this.

2011-05-09T19:54:00.013+08:00

today, as i was walking home from sch,
i saw a yellow bird struggling on the floor.
like keep biting his wings and it was limbing on the floor,
maybe it fractured its wing.
i immediately called my bro to ask him to take a box
but call and call, in the end i rushed home to take it myself also faster than his reply.

but because my neighbourhood had many cats, i was extremely afraid that the bird will get eaten up so i had to rush.
when i reached home to get the stuffs and my siblings asked me what happened i said that there's an injured bird and i asked if they would like to follow me to help it.
they were like no.
UNTIL, i said that it was a yellow bird.
WTH. yellow, black all birds what. ALL HAVE LIFE. racist man.

but anyway, by the time i rushed down with the box and everything.
the bird died.
there were houseflies and flies circling around it.
but seriously, i couldnt believe it.
it was DAMN fast like barely 20min from the time i rushed home to get the things i needed.
i tried to stroke it, hoping for a response but there was none.
20 minutes and it was gone. T.T

i've got a feeling that the weather was too hot and the bird accidentally slammed into the big wall that was beside it.

this is so depressing.
one depressing thing after another.
RIP little birdie.

***********************************************************************

okay so anyway, i would like to do a summary of the things i've experienced throughout this whole general election 2011.
like peiqi, i was a very ignorant person.
i didnt know who was who,(for the record, all the ministers look alike to me)
i didnt know any national policies,
i honestly didnt see the need for opposition,
i couldn't careless about politics.
and seriously, i thought our ministers were fine.

but, i also had problems that i didn't know were caused by the policies of our present government.

biggest problems:

1) the HDB issue.
for the longest time,
(ok, ever since i saw that 3 room hdb cost about $300k in a brochure)
i've been counting with gabriel,
how and when will we be able to own our own hdb.
first year of working (avg 2k/mth, savings=$15k by end of year maybe?),
must use this saving to try to help pay for loke school fees,
second year of working plus gabriel doing masters
maybe can save $10k? after using some to pay off the remaining sch fees.
continuing this, HOW TO HAVE KIDS BEFORE 30?

2) competition in sch and work in the future. the 2k/mth for first year is already considered very good for a graduate working in civil.

3) travelling around during peak period. (IN PUBLIC TRANSPORT)

For the longest time, my mom condemned the pap, but i've always felt that she's exaggerating. BUT nope, she wasn't. the turning points came WHEN,

goh chok tong came to ntu and when Lim zi rui (who went on the join reform party, but in my opinion didn't do so well there.) told him that many of his peers felt that they no longer feel a sense of belonging, all gct said was 'This is one early sign of danger... If this is happening, it is very serious.' and 'This is your country,' SM Goh replied. 'What do you want me to do to make you feel you belong?'

i couldn't help but feel that gct answers were insensitive and in fact made in denial of this phenomenon that zi rui had brought up. because even I can relate to this problem. its not only about banglah workers. its about foreigners fighting with people for jobs that singaporeans DO WANT TO DO.

then lee hsien loong came into the picture during the nus ministerial forum. he started talking about how there can only be one single party in singapore due to the small population size and talent pool. I found that statement extremely naive for someone like lhl. people obviously join different parties for their different ideologies. why would i want to join you if i disagree with your values and ideals? opposition arises when there's a clash in views.

Then in the same forum, an nus guy living in hougang asked him about why there is difference in upgrading given to the opposition constituencies.

This is basically how the dailogue went:
Q: My name is Seah Yin Hwa. I'm a 4th year student, I'm an engineering major from NUS. Just like many people in the audience, I served my national service and when I graduate this year, I'll be paying taxes. But I guess the main difference from everyone over here is that I come from a constituency where the majority of my fellow people decided to pick a Teochew nang that doesn't wear the white uniform. So my question is, basically why are we being penalised for our choice of MP.

PM Lee: How are you penalised?

Q: When it comes to upgrading, what is being told to us is that we do not have the funds to actually go ahead with lift upgrading as well as shelters to the bus stops. When I look over across the road to Aljunied GRC, they have everything.

PM Lee: Low Thia Khiang says he has no difficulty funding the lift upgrading programme.

Q: No, my question is ...

PM Lee: Your question is, why is the opposition ward not treated at least as good as and maybe even better than the PAP ward? And the answer is that there has to be a distinction because the PAP wards supported the government and the policies which delivered these good things.

All the basics apply to everybody ? your roads, your trains, your houses, your schools, your hospitals, your security and defence. But the extras which comes down to the upgrading programmes ? it's a national programme, but between the people who voted and supported the programme and the government, and the people who didn't, I think if we went and put yours before the PAP constituencies, it would be an injustice.*honestly, upgrading should be given depending on how old the estate is. i mean this should be a national program right. as the government, shouldn't you want the WHOLE of singapore to be well-developed? and not to let some areas be more run-downed than the others. FURTHERMORE, the upgrading funds are collected from tax payer's money. it should be distributed equally amongst the people. I felt even more enraged when i heard that Eric Low from PAP called hougang a slum. Low thia kiang cannot was deprived of this because he didn't share PAP's ideologies(*will touch on how i realised how terrible PAP's ideologies are) and his estate is penalised even though he was a good MP?

Q: So having said that, can I pay less taxes and maybe take one or two years off my NS? *i felt this rebuttal was good. like what lhl said, its a national program and if he can penalize people who disagrees with these PAP programs, i dont see why this guy have to adhere to national programs like ns or pay taxes

PM Lee: How shall I put this? If you were on an offshore island and not part of the SAF security defence, such a thing could be imagined. But the SAF, defence, taxes, all the facilities which have been provided, go to everybody. Priority, first and second, who comes first, who has to wait. Somebody has to wait.

Moderator: OK can we have the next question ...

PM Lee: But you can do something about it, you know. You don't have to keep on voting for people not in white-on-white
***end***

Soon after, i came across a video of lhl addressing on why Singaporeans cannot vote in too many Opposition candidates.
"Right now we have Low Thia Khiang, Chiam See Tong, Steve Chia. We can deal with them. Suppose you had 10, 15, 20 opposition members in Parliament. Instead of spending my time thinking what is the right policy for Singapore, I'm going to spend all my time thinking what's the right way to fix them, to buy my supporters votes, how can I solve this week's problem and forget about next year's challenges?"
I seriously felt that lee hsien loong was a joke.
oppositions aren't there to make your life miserable. they too are there to help the people. why must you take their presence so negatively. they too wanna do good for singapore. just that they disagree with your methods. furthermore, from the pay he is receiving, shouldn't juggling all of these part of his job scope?

so as my respect for the PM and ex-PM dwindled, i came across more doings of PAP that has seriously caused me to question their morals and if they had ANY.

firstly, the redrawing of the electorial boundary days BEFORE the election. seriously, if you really wanted a democratic society, please scrap that.

secondly,WONG KAN SENG for not having the initiative to do something despite the mas salamat case. at least have the decency to do something about that.
doesn't he know he's been putting PM lee in such a difficult position?
even if he doesnt wanna resign,at least take the initiative to say 'hey, i did something wrong, maybe reduce my pay or something.' look, even BP's CEO stepped down cause of the oil spill. you think he expected it?

then, VIVIAN BALAKRISHNAN'S childish behavior of trying to 'expose' videos despite your status and proclaiming on national media that the other parties have hidden agendas without clarifying first.
and assuming that crossing budgets okay when it comes to yog, yet having the perception that giving SUFFICIENT money to the poor that can't work is not money well spent?or that helping the poor is not the work of the government but of social workers? sure social workers can give help through counselling/providing the poor/sick with necessary contacts to improve their situation, but they should at least receive enough fundings from the government for them to survive, afterall, the government did say that the increase of gst to 7% was to help the poor and aging populating.

saying things and withdrawing it back again, e.g: KHAW BOON WAN suggesting in the local papers that sending elderly to jb is a good idea. then when the opposition criticize you, say that whatever they say is a 'total fabrication'.
seriously lah, i read that article about him saying that. and why would you think of that and publish it in the papers if you did not feel that its a good idea?
and GOH CHOK TONG's promise of not to commenting on other candidates outside your grc but did so anyway.

name-calling-this really questions their morality. why resort to putting people down to raise their profiles despite their status.

justifying their pay with their duties. even though they have been negligent. Im not against their high pay but rather, really upset over their arrogance and self compliment. how can they be so arrogant, despite times that they have not performed up to standard? this really questions their morality too don't you think?

lamenting on how people should be grateful to them when they have been paid to do what they do. Do you feel grateful to the uncle in the hawker center for every time he cooks for you? or the waiter that serves you? IF, a person goes out of his way to do something for you, THEN we REALLY OUGHTA be grateful. e.g: get ridiculed in parliament just to stand up for your people.

countering every criticism for the sake of doing so instead of seriously taking them into account. especially when the people's interest contradict with moneymaking. moneymaking has been put on priority for far too long.

okay, too late, gotta sleep continue next time.

2011-05-08T23:23:00.004+08:00

si zek gong, you will be missed.

i will always remember you as the big snake of the family.
rest in peace.

while we only met you a few times a year,
your toothy smile and happy-go-lucky ways made an impression on me.
you were a very happy and jovial man, always so cheerful,
so full of life.
and then suddenly gone.
its so strange to see you lying there, not smiling.

your presence will be greatly missed during cny,
where you always would come and talk nonsense with us.

will try to ask mommy to visit si jim poh more often.

*note to self: MUST visit ah gong after exam.

2011-05-07T03:18:00.000+08:00

ok lah.just to be fair,i think lee hsien loong is a good person too. i think i can see that he is trying his best to be a good person as well. but perhaps when such a huge responsibility has been bestowed upon him and being pressurized to perform as well as his father did, he tries to make as little mistake as possible through the safest way he knows which is to follow what have been proven in the past to be effective and follow the advice given by his right hand men. however, i dont think the pap environment isn't exactly a good one to groom a good person and from my gut feeling, they probably instill stupid thoughts like if you dont destroy your opponents, they will destroy you and many other wrong ideas, causing him to say several silly things in the past. however, i dont think the pap environment isn't exactly a good one to groom a good person and from my gut feeling, they probably instill stupid thoughts like if you dont destroy your opponents, they will destroy you and many other wrong ideas, causing him to say several silly things in the past.

2011-05-01T00:19:00.001+08:00

i feel abit sad for pap. during their rally, the supporters aren't as enthusiastic as those in the opposition party. i guess this is as genuine as the support gets because the pap culture doesnt genuinely revolve round the people either. So they kinda deserve it.

BUT, till now, there is only one guy i feel that doesnt deserve this. and that's george yeo. i think he isnt arrogant and he does do things for people. i think he deserves to be voted in. but not his whole team. as a whole, i think worker's party should win aljunied. aiya, george yeo should come to west coast and i'll vote for pap because of him.

2011-04-28T15:45:00.003+08:00

haha. you know, while i dont like pap as a whole, not all pap members are bad. i kinda like george yeo. so yepp. i think he's sincere and not arrogant. so i guess keep it up. i think he does strike me as someone who is willing to help and perhaps one of the members that are willing to consider ideas instead of just shooting everything down just because they want to be right forever and think that if they are wrong they will have no pride. people i dont like includes balakrishnan, mah bow tan, khaw boon wan . yeah even goh chok tong.

im alright with people making mistake as long as they should that they ARE really sorry and not saying it just for the sake to please all the netizens. aka wong kan seng. eeee. so fake.

2011-04-25T09:49:00.002+08:00

what super cannot take it man.

i hate how the main stream media are such obvious forms of propaganda.
SO DAMN SELECTIVE on what to post.

you know, i USED to RESPECT PAP.
but, from recent reports etc, i think they are seriously A JOKE.
they are contradicting themselves on so many levels.

anyway, to side track,
im kinda worried i havent had my menses for 2 months already.
and no, definitely im not pregnant or anything.
gabriel and i never even do it before so unless i somehow manage to fertilize myself.
such is impossible so, im damn damn worried.
like do i have infection or something.
or like did consuming sushi that day mutated me?
am i turning into an asexual animal?
AHHHH stressed sia. WHY LIDDAT.

haha. hopefully gonna go see doctor tmr morning or wed afternoon.
most probably they're gonna tell me hormonal imbalance or stressed or what ever.
while i really hate menses cos its freaking painful and everything,
i kinda miss it now. :'(

like this whole sem i only had menses ONCE. WHAT THE HELL.
i feel less than a woman.
omg. super emo now.

2011-04-23T03:18:00.002+08:00

today, i followed gabriel to st marys for good friday.
for two reasons.
first one: i keep getting thoughts that i'll die soon and i get paranoid everytime it starts pouring heavily because everyytime, it gives me this creepy feeling that is giving us a warning that the end of the world would be soon and will behave like this.
uncontrollable rain, lightning etc.

and also, i can help me with understanding the jesus christ superstar text.
surprisingly, the text and what was said during the sermon was quite alike.
except for the fact that it didnt show how lost jesus was and that judas wasnt as good as portrayed in the film. but jesus really very poor thing. he had so many supporters but his closest disciple denied him, one betrayed him and as he died there was only 3 people weeping for him. wah i feel like crying man. like doesnt this make all his previous worshippers hypocrites and what about those people he helped. why are they so ungrateful!

oh and today, there was this amazing cockroach in my toilet. i thought i killed it. but it freaking escaped damn quickly. its the fastest cockroach i've ever seen in my life. usually i can kill the cockroach pretty fast and i would make sure i kill every cockroach i see so that they wont reproduce. but this guy is damn fast.like omg. i think its like mutated!

2011-04-14T20:33:00.004+08:00

okay. gonna do a short update.

Li Jing gave me a TELESCOPE on monday! like how awesome is that.
i didnt know how to operate it. in fact i still dont. but i've been reading up and sadly, its an equatorial refractor telescope which means i'll kinda have a tough time calibrating it since the north star is really so far out in the horizon. O>.
Anyway, second fantastic thing that happened was. On tuesday, there was suppose to be astro club's night observation of saturn's opposition. As much as i wanted to go, I had water resource quiz the next day and i was not done studying. so I wanted to pon.

However, halfway through sympathy with the devil, ziang msged and called me to go because its subcom appreciation day. plus the fact that udaya said that appreciation day means free food day. SO i went, intending to study there hopefully. When i reached, they had this prize giving session for the best subcom and jiang fan, the president, was like asking everyone to guess who is the best subcom. AND EVERYONE STARTED LOOKING AT ME. omg. i was so paiseh!! I WON. OMG I WON YOU KNOW. so embarrassed and guilty that i had intended to pon.
haha. i super love astro club. everyone inside and also astronomy itself! and thanks to ziang and liu zheng of the r&r for choosing me! (Y) haha i will definitely put in more effort to strive towards bringing astro club ups
Then we had a movie screening of pandorum. its kinda freaky and i left halfway cos i had to rush back to study.

side note: i really admire prof lim siow yong. I think he is really inspiring and he gives good guidance when it comes to keeping your life in check. He talks about what we should not to do even if its not wrong, like flaming people online. even if they did do something bad because everything online is for life. if you are unhappy with that person, just tell it to his face. dont need to write online. because everything online can't be taken back and why try to ruin other people's lives. i've always thought that if im unhappy with someone, and i feel that the person should be condemned, i would just blog/facebook about it without a second thought of what would happen if the person decides to change or probably have a really good reason for behaving a certain way and that my comment cant be erased. i guess i will be more mindful next time. haha. i really enjoy his lessons of life. while many might think he is bullshiting in class i feel that they have certain truths in them and i feel so inspired to be a better person. he is so chill and funny and ready to laugh at himself. great guy man.

oh and i got the most liked comment on promise phan's angelina jolie make up tut for asking her to do a ryan higa. (Y) i know its retarded, but i still feel happy for some reason. xD

2011-04-09T17:36:00.002+08:00

My main reason for voting for opposition is because I feel that the PAP has become really inefficient. Unless they prove that they can actually start taking responsibilities for the problems in which the people face and stop giving bullshit reasons and blaming other people. We dont expect you to be perfect. Just show that you DO have the people's interest at heart and i dont mean bribery. You know, there are some very valid points brought up by the citizens and instead of desperately thinking of answers to shoot them down, maybe you could EMBRACE the points and consider that maybe some changes do have to be done. JUST DO YOUR DAMN WORK AND SOLVE IT. we dont freaking pay you to talk bullshit. you guys really need to do something if you want people to respect you. As for a single party being more efficient, you CALL THIS EFFICIENT? efficient is when there is an opposition party to make sure you guys do your work. sure, it might take longer for a policy to get implemented, but at least we can be assured that an all rounded view of the policy has been taken into account and also to prevent the abuse of policies.

I would really like to see you guys stand up for us and not take the easy route out. when the minibond crisis occurred, blame us for being stupid. BLAME the victims for everything. when youths start losing their sense of belonging, BLAME us for the influx of foreigners, when mrt is overcrowded, BLAME us for not wanting to board. yeah right. you move in and see how lah. when there is low birthrates because we have no money to buy house, blame us again. well done. so what do you guys actually do? better step up your game if you want votes. and just a tip. maybe you guys can start by reducing your salary and start living like ordinary folks to get a better picture of what is REALLY going on.

There. I've said it. feels good now. please do take this constructively. Im sure that government work is tough. well, it should be to deserve that pay. so please prove that you DO deserve it. and stop forcing people to vote for you just for the incentives. Let people vote you because they know that you are there to truly help them and will help them to your utmost best. And erm, get quality people to serve you please. I want to stop hearing nonsense on the tv and internet. if im going to pay in come tax, i want to make sure that im not such a great moron who would pay people so much to hear nonsense. i want the real deal delivered.

government's competency should be one that rests in delivering and implementing. and not determining who gets greater priority.

And i hope that everyone will vote for the correct reasons.

2011-04-06T01:12:00.003+08:00

today's civil materials test was CRAZY.
like omg i totally forgot everything.
haix. i blame my failed study attempt on the fact that i had to hand in my sympathy for the devil essay.
luckily alvin helped me.
BUTTT i cant believe i didnt trust him and trusted my 'instincts' and chose the wrong answer. -_-'
ITS SO UNFAIR HOW SANDRA FOREVER TIKAMS the right ans and i dont. :(
SO ANYWAY
I am quite satisfied with my HL814essay.
hoping for an A+ but still gonna SU it cos i wanna focus more on my other subs which i dont think will do very well this sem. :(
EVERYTHING SO DIFFICULT NOW.
LIKE SERIOUSLY.
while it is good as i feel that im more or less in a university,
the bad thing is i cant catch up.
haix.

on a lighter note,
i went out with gabriel today to explore the clementi mall!!
omg. there's a cotton on there and a shop selling winter stuffs!
note to self.
must go buy winter clothes there.
and gabriel bought me a necklace!!!
yay!
hahaha. this is the FIRST jewellery he has bought for me!
excluding the pair of saga seeds earring he bought for charity
YAY!!!
hahaha. while it was 'chosen' by me,
he didnt hesitate to buy it
cos that day he looked at the i love you necklace i was wearing and demanded to know who gave it to me.
when i told him i bought it myself.
he laughed and say i sound so sad that bf never buy me so i buy for myself.
so he felt sorry for me and decided to buy me a necklace! YAY. love it!

then met weiji and peiqi for dinner!

oh yeah! there is this guy in the clementi who looks like jerry!
read brian's letter to pq.
fill in next time!

2011-04-02T18:37:00.002+08:00

I PLAYED A TRICK on facebook this april's fool
by changing my birthday to april first.
AND ITS WAS SO SUCCESSFUL!
heehee!

52 ppl actually wished me happy birthday!
on facebook and sms and msn.
LOL

aww.... im so mischievous.
wonder what's gonna happen when i become a mom next time!
i can so totally picture my kids rolling their eyes at me.

haha. totally miss the time when i was so retarded in jc and sec sch.
everyday laughing.. jc got emo at parts, but still, i was happy too!
but uni life is BLEARGH.
i feel so stressed to do well that it kills abit of me.
im less happy, im less carefree and im too uptight!

but what to do.
i have to be like this to make up for the As i've lost in sec sch and jc.
to prove to everyone that i can be smart if i wanted to.
and most importantly, i want to be able to be a pe.
so that i can take care of my family.

I feel kinda lucky now.
with a caring bf, ok grades and a rather stable life.
but i really want to be more enthu like i was last time.
nowadays im just rotting at home, i dont feel like going out.
lazy to meet friends, lazy to do sweet stuff for gabriel.
just really monotonous.

actually this comes from the crazy work load.
i cant enjoy myself totally when i feel its nagging pressure.
RAR RAR RAR.

side note: i love to hepl my friends get back tgt after they quarrel.
i believe that every couple can be long term as long as love exists.
and usually everything stems from misunderstandings.
we just need to be contented with each other and give and take a little.
when we dont use breaking up as an option in the r/s,
we will learn to give way and we wont have to break up.

i hate it so much when ppl say oh there are other better fishes in the sea.
damnit man. dont be greedy! be contented!!
love and memories are created.

2011-03-07T21:15:00.003+08:00

made dinner for baby last tuesday. and found a special tomato! one with a flower on the tip. like a super cute flower. will upload if i rmb.

anyway, screwed up structures paper.
i KNOW how to do. but i doubted my answer at the first part.
you see, the answer at the first part will affect the rest.
therefore, i had to check it.
and it looked abit weird at first.
like the reaction force didnt look right to me.
so i checked that for like 5 times and didnt manage to complete the paper.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHh
i feel so irritated with myself and the paper.
IT WASNT difficult.
that's the worst part.

if it was, i wouldnt feel so bad.
screwing up but knowing you KNEW the answer BUT JUST DIDNT HAVE TIME is the WORST FEELING EVER.

2011-01-16T01:52:00.001+08:00

seriously dunno why blogger is so screwed up. pfft

2011-01-13T01:03:00.004+08:00

i should have a new year resolution like everyone else.

i know im slow but didnt really feel anything this coming year because i guess its just one new year too many.

so for 2011, i guess, my first resolution will be:

1) GPA 5. just hit a 5 for one sem. no more playing. no more nuaing. just pure hard work.

2) write everything i've learnt from astronomy down.

3) EXERCISE and slim down abit. as in get rid of all the fatties.

4)re-evaluate some friendships. reconnect or lose some friendships. no point spending time with ppl u know are just all out to take advantage of you only. while some are built to last.

5) be nicer to mom, honest my r/s with mom has improved tremendously. and im glad.

6) use less com. i guess i do spend too much meaningless time on the com. browsing through online stores, reloading blogs only to be disappointed to find that its not been updated etc. like what's the point. i should just check my email and switch off the com. i dont even do online shopping that often anymore.

7) BE MORE NEAT. honestly i can tell that sometimes even gabriel feels exasperated at the state of my room. but sometimes i do feel my creativity and memory are enhanced due to my disorganised habits. like i have to rmb the positions of my things etc. hahaha. ok no more excuses.

8)get a new cupboard. to fit in new clothes

9) give away old clothes.

10) be more lady like. too damn chor lor and direct to be considered a lady. nah, damnit. i cant really be bothered with correcting my mannerism. not willing to conform to societal pressures. i mean i dont care for elitism so why act all high class and lady like. life is for living based on yourself solely. not yourself relative to others. so nope, this aint gonna be a resolution

10) visit ah gong more. honestly im damn lazy. i feel very guilty for not visiting him regularly but yet my guilt cant beat my laziness.

11) curb the root of all my evils. ---> LAZINESS.

12) sleep early eg: 11pm latest and sleep for 8 hours everyday at least.

13) try not to be so critical of people you dont feel right about. ok main point, be less judgemental. just most of the time i tend to feel people's vibe and predict their character. i wouldnt say i've been 100% accurate, but accurate rate enough to more or less gauge ppl. its not right but many a times im grateful i never really let those that i saw through penetrate into my life enough to hurt me. yet, there are some ppl i have to live with and though i have strong feelings that they are flawed in the way i think they are there are a few times they prove me wrong and i feel guilty. but there are times in which their behaviour further etch my bad impression of them. but i've come to a point where i think its too tiring to live day in day out in such tension. so i will just be kind and happy. if they wanna hurt, they can just go and receive karma.

14) HAVE a checklist everyday of what to do and keep to it.

15) conintue being happy with gabriel loke zi jie. life with him is just Mmm.. simple and nice. nothing too exhilarating. peaceful and tranquil. but i guess gabriel is really my baby boy. hahaha. really like a baby. need to sayang one. and he feels neglected when i dont give him my attention at times. so cute. and the best thing is he really makes me wanna strive to be better without forcing me to. its just his dedication and pure kindness that is in a way inspiring.

ok i guess this would do. starting tmr. will go make a list of what to do everyday. plan it out nice and good
:) goodnight world. maybe will wrap up the past exciting year in uni! hahaha. what a bitchy world uni is at times. oh wells.

2011-01-07T11:21:00.002+08:00

back from malaysia.

life in janda baik takes quite an effort to get used to.
its really leaving my comfort zone behind.

we bathed in cold mountain spring water
that is as cold as refrigerated water.
and you'll have to run the water first.
because the first few drops of water is brown.
so you'll have to drain it until its slightly yellowish (the closest to clear water you can ever get) before you start bathing.

My socks got attacked by wasp. TWICE.
one on each night i was there.

and the food, taste wise was fine.
but the chicken was damn hard.
it became hard to identify whether i was chewing on bone or meat.

there were bugs and flies everywhere.
because we were kinda staying in a 'village' in the mountains.
with chicken and duck running freely.

air there was cooling but a little suffocating if you do strenuous activities.

OK NOW FOR THE AWESOMEST PART.
THE MAIN REASON i took ALL THE SHIT to enjoy.

THE STARS WERE DAMN BEAUTIFUL.
they were SO BIG, SO BRIGHT.
you literally wanna reach out for the stars.
they seem SO DAMN CLOSE.
even the faint stars could be seen.
orion's arm,
pleiades,
perseus,
auriga,
andromeda.
AND EVEN andromeda galaxy.
not only that.
i saw...
.
.
.
.
.
SHOOTING STARS.
the quadrantids meteor shower.
the shooting stars were DAMN BIG and bright and GREEN.
they outshine all the other surrounding stars.
and when you see them,
they subconsciously go piioooooooooooooooo in your head.
but of course in reality,
they are silent.
damn booms.
the view was good cos it was a new moon.
so there werent light from the moon to interfere with the shooting stars' sighting.
well, if there werent exams, we could have seen the GERMINIDS which had 3 times higher frquency and multicolouredd.
oh and i saw stars that when joined using imaginary lines forming a shark's fin.
and i found out later that it was the bootes constellation!
but i guess most shooting stars i saw came from the corona borealis which is shaped like a bowl.

so anyway, my glasses kept fogging up.
because it was SO BLOODY COLD AT NIGHT.
damn funny. this PHd guy called li jing (laurant) (pronounced similar to lao hong and lou hor)
said no wonder humans build houses.
oh and we played monopoly deal with two phd guys.
one form india and one from china.
they damn funny!
they are super strategist in their heads they calculated alot of things.

yup. that's about it.
quite an experience.
oh right, note to self. in malaysia, eat secret recipe and drink star bucks.
DAMN cheap!.

2011-01-01T13:49:00.002+08:00

im gonna miss griggly when i leave for malaysia.

so excited.

i keep pondering how i would react if our bus was hijacked.

i wanna be known for some altruistic acts at least in this life time.

i wanna be a hero before i die. :)

2010-12-27T14:09:00.002+08:00

wah im damn hardcore about astronomy.

just watched a documentary about the moon.
neptune last count had 13 moons
saturn has 48 moons
and jupiter has 62 moons!!!!!

earth's moon's name is called luna!
ours is the fifth largest satellite in our solar system!
and the largest relative size to the host planet(meaning Earth)
a quarter of the size of our earth!
saturn moon, titan is twice the size of our moon!

and how the large impact.

capture theory - flaws lies in earth's too small to extert a large enough

2010-12-27T02:04:00.006+08:00

chanced upon this awesome max article from
http://listverse.com/2010/11/04/10-strange-things-about-the-universe/

shall just copy and paste the whole thing.
everything damn clear. (Y)

The universe can be a very strange place. While groundbreaking ideas such as quantum theory, relativity and even the Earth going around the Sun might be commonly accepted now, science still continues to show that the universe contains things you might find it difficult to believe, and even more difficult to get your head around.

10
Negative Energy

Theoretically, the lowest temperature that can be achieved is absolute zero, exactly −273.15°C, where the motion of all particles stops completely. However, you can never actually cool something to this temperature because, in quantum mechanics, every particle has a minimum energy, called “zero-point energy,” which you cannot get below. Remarkably, this minimum energy doesn’t just apply to particles, but to any vacuum, whose energy is called “vacuum energy.” To show that this energy exists involves a rather simple experiment– take two metal plates in a vacuum, put them close together, and they will be attracted to each other. This is caused by the energy between the plates only being able to resonate at certain frequencies, while outside the plates the vacuum energy can resonate at pretty much any frequency. Because the energy outside the plates is greater than the energy between the plates, the plates are pushed towards each other. As the plates get closer together, the force increases, and at around a 10 nm separation this effect (called the Casimir effect) creates one atmosphere of pressure between them. Because the plates reduce the vacuum energy between them to below the normal zero-point energy, the space is said to have negative energy, which has some unusual properties.

One of the properties of a negative-energy vacuum is that light actually travels faster in it than it does in a normal vacuum, something that may one day allow people to travel faster than the speed of light in a kind of negative-energy vacuum bubble. Negative energy could also be used to hold open a transversible wormhole, which although theoretically possible, would collapse as soon as it was created without a means to keep it open. Negative energy also causes black holes to evaporate. Vacuum energy is often modeled as virtual particles popping into existence and annihilating. This doesn’t violate any energy conservation laws as long as the particles are annihilated shortly afterwards. However, if two particles are produced at the event horizon of a black hole, one can be moving away from the black hole, while the other is falling into it. This means they won’t be able to annihilate, so the particles both end up with negative energy. When the negative energy particle falls into the black hole, it lowers the mass of the black hole instead of adding to it, and over time particles like these will cause the black hole to evaporate completely. Because this theory was first suggested by Stephen Hawking, the particles given off by this effect (the ones that don’t fall into the black hole) are called Hawking radiation. It was the first accepted theory to unite quantum theory with general relativity, making it Hawking’s greatest scientific achievement to date.

9
Frame Dragging

One prediction of Einstein’s theory of general relativity is that when a large object moves, it drags the space-time around it, causing nearby objects to be pulled along as well. It can occur when a large object is moving in a straight line or is rotating, and, although the effect is very small, it has been experimentally verified. The Gravity Probe B experiment, launched in 2004, was designed to measure the space-time distortion near Earth. Although sources of interference were larger than expected, the frame-dragging effect has been measured to an uncertainty of 15%, with further analysis hoping to reduce this further.

The expected effects were very close to predictions: due to the rotation of the Earth, the probe was pulled from its orbit by around 2 meters per year, an effect purely caused by the mass of the Earth distorting the space-time surrounding it. The probe itself would not feel this extra acceleration because it is not caused by an acceleration on the probe, but rather on the space-time the probe is traveling through–analogous to a rug being pulled under a table, rather than moving the table itself.

8
Relativity of Simultaneity

The relativity of simultaneity is the idea that whether two events occur simultaneously or not is relative and depends on the observer. It is a strange consequence of the special theory of relativity, and applies to any events that happen that are separated by some distance. For example, if a firework is let off on Mars and another on Venus, one observer traveling through space one way might say they happen at the same time (compensating for the time light takes to reach them), while another observer traveling another way might say the one on Mars went off first, and yet another might say the one on Venus went off first. It is caused by the way different viewpoints become distorted compared to each other in special relativity. And because they are all relative, no observer can be said to have the correct viewpoint.

This can lead to very unusual scenarios, such as an observer witnessing effect before cause (for example, seeing a bomb go off, then later seeing someone light the fuse). However, once the observer sees the effect, they cannot interact with the cause without traveling faster than the speed of light, which was one of the first reasons faster-than-light travel was believed to be forbidden, because it is akin to time travel, and a universe where you can interact with the cause after the effect makes no sense.

7
Black Strings

One of the longest outstanding mysteries in physics is how gravity is related to the other fundamental forces, such as electromagnetism. One theory, first proposed in 1919, showed that if an extra dimension is added to the universe, gravity still exists in the first four dimensions (three space dimensions and time), but the way this four dimensional space curves over the extra fifth dimension, naturally produces the other fundamental forces. However, we cannot see or detect this fifth dimension, so it was proposed that the extra dimension was curled up, and hence became invisible to us. This theory was what ultimately led to string theory, and is still included at the heart of most string theory analysis.

Since this extra dimension is so small, only tiny objects, such as particles, can move along it. In these cases, they ultimately just end up where they started, since the extra dimension is curled up on itself. However, one object that becomes much more complex in five dimensions is a black hole. When extended to five dimensions, it becomes a “black string,” and unlike a normal 4D black hole, it is unstable (this ignores the fact that 4D black holes eventually evaporate). This black string will destabilize into a whole string of black holes, connected by further black strings, until the black strings are pinched off entirely and leave the set of black holes. These multiple 4D black holes then combine into one larger black hole. The most interesting thing about this is that, using current models, the final black hole is a “naked” singularity. That is, it has no event horizon surrounding it. This violates the Cosmic Censorship Hypothesis, which says that all singularities must be surrounded by an event horizon, in order to avoid the time-travel effects that are believed to happen near a singularity from changing the history of the entire universe, as they can never escape from behind an event horizon.

6
Geon

As is best shown in the equation E=MC2, energy and matter are fundamentally connected. One effect of this is that energy, as well as mass, creates a gravitational field. A geon, first investigated by John Wheeler, in 1955, is an electromagnetic or gravitational wave whose energy creates a gravitational field, which in turn holds the wave itself together in a confined space. Wheeler speculated that there may be a link between microscopic geons and elementary particles, and that they might even be the same thing. A more extreme example is a “kugelblitz” (German for “ball lightning”), which is where such intense light is concentrated at a particular point that the gravity caused by the light energy becomes strong enough to collapse into a black hole, trapping the light inside. Although nothing is thought to prevent the formation of a kugelblitz, geons are now only believed to be able to form temporarily, as they will inevitably leak energy and collapse. This unfortunately indicates that Wheeler’s initial conjecture was incorrect, but this has not been definitively proven.

5
Kerr Black Hole

The type of black hole most people are familiar with, which has an event horizon on the outside acting as the “point of no return” and a point singularity of infinite density on the inside, actually has a more specific name: a Schwarzschild black hole. It is named after Karl Schwarzschild, who found the mathematical solution of Einstein’s field equations for a spherical, non-rotating mass in 1915, only a month after Einstein actually published his general theory of relativity. However, it wasn’t until 1963 that mathematician Roy Kerr found the solution for a rotating spherical mass. Hence, a rotating black hole is called a Kerr black hole, and it has some unusual properties.

At the centre of a Kerr black hole, there is no point singularity, but rather a ring singularity—a spinning one-dimensional ring held open by its own momentum. There are also two event horizons, an inner and outer one, and an ellipsoid called the ergosphere, inside which space-time itself rotates with the black hole (because of frame dragging) faster than the speed of light. When entering the black hole, by passing through the outer event horizon, space-like paths become time-like, meaning that it is impossible to avoid the singularity at the centre, just like in a Schwarzschild black hole. However, when you pass through the inner event horizon, your path becomes space-like again. The difference is this: space-time itself is reversed. This means gravity near the ring singularity becomes repulsive, actually pushing you away from the centre. In fact, unless you enter the black hole exactly on the equator, it is impossible to hit the ring singularity itself. Additionally, ring singularities can be linked through space-time, so they can act as wormholes, although exiting the black hole on the other side would be impossible (unless it was a naked singularity, possibly created when the ring singularity spins fast enough). Traveling through a ring singularity might take you to another point in space-time, such as another universe, where you could see light falling in from outside the black hole, but not leave the black hole itself. It might even take you to a “white hole” in a negative universe, the exact meaning of which is unknown.

4
Quantum Tunneling

Quantum tunneling is an effect where a particle can pass through a barrier it would not normally have the energy to overcome. It can allow a particle to pass through a physical barrier that should be impenetrable, or can allow an electron to escape from the pull of the nucleus without having the kinetic energy to do so. According to quantum mechanics, there is a finite probability that any particle can be found anywhere in the universe, although that probability is astronomically small for any real distance from the particles expected path.

However, when the particle is faced with a small-enough barrier (around 1-3 nm wide), one which conventional calculations would indicate is impenetrable by the particle, the probability that the particle will simply pass through that barrier becomes fairly noticeable. This can be explained by the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, which limits how much information can be known about a particle. A particle can “borrow” energy from the system it is acting in, use it to pass through the barrier, and then lose it again.

Quantum tunneling is involved in many physical processes, such as radioactive decay and the nuclear fusion that takes place in the Sun. It is also used in certain electrical components, and it has even been shown to occur in enzymes in biological systems. For example, the enzyme glucose oxidase, which catalyses the reaction of glucose into hydrogen peroxide, involves the quantum tunneling of an entire oxygen atom. Quantum tunneling is also a key feature of the scanning tunneling microscope, the first machine to enable the imaging and manipulation of individual atoms. It works by measuring the voltage in a very fine tip, which changes when it gets close to a surface due to the effect of electrons tunneling through the vacuum (known as the “forbidden zone”) between them. This gives the device the sensitivity necessary to make extremely high resolution images. It also enables the device to move atoms by deliberately putting a current through the conducting tip.

3
Cosmic Strings

Shorty after the Big Bang, the universe was in a highly disordered and chaotic state. This means that small changes and defects didn’t change the overall structure of the universe. However, as the universe expanded, cooled, and went from a disorderly state to an orderly one, it reached a point where very small fluctuations created very large changes.

This is similar to arranging tiles evenly on a floor. When one tile is placed unevenly, this means that the subsequent tiles placed will follow its pattern. Therefore, you have a whole line of tiles out of place. This is similar to the objects called cosmic strings, which are extremely thin and extremely long defects in the shape of space-time. These cosmic strings are predicted by most models of the universe, such as the string theory wherein two kinds of “strings” are unrelated. If they exist, each string would be as thin as a proton, but incredibly dense. Thus, a cosmic string a mile long can weigh as much as the Earth. However, it would not actually have any gravity and the only effect it will have on matter surrounding it would be the way it changes the form and shape of space-time. Therefore, a cosmic string is, in essence, just a “wrinkle” in the shape of space-time.

Cosmic strings are thought to be incredibly long, up to the order of the sizes of thousands of galaxies. In fact, recent observations and simulations have suggested that a network of cosmic strings stretches across the entire universe. This was once thought to be what caused galaxies to form in supercluster complexes, although this idea has since been abandoned. Supercluster complexes consist of connected “filaments” of galaxies up to a billion light-years in length. Because of the unique effects of cosmic strings on space-time as you bring two strings close together, it has been shown that they could possibly be used for time travel, like with most of the things on this list. Cosmic strings would also create incredible gravitational waves, stronger than any other known source. These waves are what those current and planned gravitational wave detectors are designed to look for.

2
Antimatter Retrocausality

Antimatter is the opposite of matter. It has the same mass but with an opposing electrical charge. One theory about why antimatter exists was developed by John Wheeler and Nobel laureate Richard Feynman based on the idea that physical systems should be time-reversible. For example, the orbits of our solar system, if played backwards, should still obey all the same rules as when they are played forwards. This led to the idea that antimatter is just ordinary matter going backwards in time, which would explain why antiparticles have an opposite charge, since if an electron is repelled while going forwards in time, then backwards in time this becomes attraction. This also explains why matter and antimatter annihilate. This isn’t a circumstance of two particles crashing into and destroying each other; it is the same particle suddenly stopping and going back in time. In a vacuum, where a pair of virtual particles are produced and then annihilated, this is actually just one particle going in an endless loop, forwards in time, then backwards, then forwards, and so on.

While the accuracy of this theory is still up for debate, treating antimatter as matter going backwards in time mathematically comes up with identical solutions to other, more conventional theories. When it was first theorized, John Wheeler said that perhaps it answered the question of why all electrons in the universe have identical properties, a question so obvious that it is generally ignored. He suggested that it was just one electron, constantly darting all over the universe, from the Big Bang to the end of time and back again, continuing an uncountable number of times. Even though this idea involves backwards time travel, it can’t be used to send any information back in time, since the mathematics of the model simply doesn’t allow it. You cannot move a piece of antimatter to affect the past, since in moving it you only affect the past of the antimatter itself, that is, your future.

1
Gödel’s incompleteness theorems

It is not strictly science, but rather a very interesting set of mathematical theorems about logic and the philosophy that is definitely relevant to science as a whole. Proven in 1931 by Kurt Gödel, these theories say that with any given set of logical rules, except for the most simple, there will always be statements that are undecidable, meaning that they cannot be proven or disproven due to the inevitable self-referential nature of any logical systems that is even remotely complicated. This is thought to indicate that there is no grand mathematical system capable of proving or disproving all statements. An undecidable statement can be thought of as a mathematical form of a statement like “I always lie.” Because the statement makes reference to the language being used to describe it, it cannot be known whether the statement is true or not. However, an undecidable statement does not need to be explicitly self-referential to be undecidable. The main conclusion of Gödel’s incompleteness theorems is that all logical systems will have statements that cannot be proven or disproven; therefore, all logical systems must be “incomplete.”

The philosophical implications of these theorems are widespread. The set suggests that in physics, a “theory of everything” may be impossible, as no set of rules can explain every possible event or outcome. It also indicates that logically, “proof” is a weaker concept than “true”; such a concept is unsettling for scientists because it means there will always be things that, despite being true, cannot be proven to be true. Since this set of theorems also applies to computers, it also means that our own minds are incomplete and that there are some ideas we can never know,ncluding whether our own minds are consistent (i.e. our reasoning contains no incorrect contradictions). This is because the second of Gödel’s incompleteness theorems states that no consistent system can prove its own consistency, meaning that no sane mind can prove its own sanity. Also, since that same law states that any system able to prove its consistency to itself must be inconsistent, any mind that believes it can prove its own sanity is, therefore, insane.

2010-12-26T16:57:00.000+08:00

yay! i have something to do for the hols!
now i just have to pick what i wanna write about!

Hi members,

Astronomy and Me!

The Astronomical Society of NTU is giving you a chance to showcase your knowledge, with the opportunity of having your own work published in our yearly magazine, Astronicle!

What is it: This is a cool chance for you Astronomy fans to boast your knowledge about Astronomy. Just simply write an Astronomy-related article and submit it to us, and if we’re impressed, you just may be greatly rewarded!

The top 3 articles will stand a chance to win some cool prizes, as follows:
1st prize – Binoculars
2nd prize – Laser pointer
3rd prize – Sky chart

Tempted? Participate now!

How to participate: Write an Astronomy-related article, and e-mail it back to astronome2010@gmail.com together with your name, Matric No, Course and year, e-mail address, telephone number, and gender.

Before you start, please note that it is IMPORTANT that you read the following guidelines:
1. Your article should be 500 – 800 words long.
2. Article will be judged by the following criteria: creativity, originality, comprehensiveness, and language.
3. References and sources should be attached, if applicable.
4. Guidelines on writing - you can write just about anything, which is Astronomy-related such as: your personal experience about astronomy, how astronomy relates to your life, current astronomy-related affairs, etc.
5. Attachment of diagram/photo of any kind for illustration purposes is optional.
6. The top 3 winners will be announced in our yearly magazine, Astronicle, and your winning article will also be published in Astronicle. Be proud!!
7. Even if you are not one of the top 3 winners, your article may still stand a chance to be published, if the judges find your work interesting and relevant.
8. Judges decision is final.
9. Upon submitting your work, you agree that it shall become the property of the Astronomical Society. For publication purposes, we hold the right to make minor amendments to the article, as we deem appropriate.
10. Deadline for submission: 7 January 2011. Any submissions after 7 January 2011 will NOT be entertained.

2010-12-23T01:04:00.005+08:00

OMG. today's moon was in the center of a halo!
after gabriel sent me home from pool,
arnd 1am.

this sight couldnt be captured by cam, so i drew it out using paint.

this is the meaning to my earlier post.
the circle in the sky. :)
it glistens in your eyes.
i really think im a prophet! :)

damn COOL.

anyways, congrats to baby.
his gpa is 4.6!!!!
that's after taking double degree and overloading it somemore!
hee proud of him.

2010-12-18T23:16:00.002+08:00

see the circle in the sky?
it glistens through your eyes
in this crazy world of mine,
you're special and divine.

2010-12-18T13:57:00.004+08:00

haix.
mom was doable.
But i didnt face up to the challenge.
T.T
cause i slept for 4 hrs the night before and started daydreaming while doing the paper.
it didnt help that some bloody guy started talking through the mic using some iranian accent or smthn.
I HATE exams with people doing other papers.
everytime the invigilator start saying something through the mic,
it will break my train of thoughts.

and the worst thing is right,
for the question i couldnt solve,
i figured it out like immediately after they say put your pens down.
shit lah.
i would have given them a A+ paper if i just had half an hour more.
but damn stupid.
i dont have time.
now i dont even think i can get even an A.
they should pay me back with at least 15 minutes. for the stupid guy talking.

ARGH.
okay shall start making a list of things to do after exams to cheer me up.
CSI WITH GABRIEL!!!! :)
pack room
pack wardrobe****** (extra important. cupboard cant even close now.)
astronomy research.***(prepare for trip to malaysia)
wash griggly.
practice driving
star gazing with wilson's new telescope!
VISIT AH GONG EVERY SATURDAY*******
go out with li yi and help her from being so negative.***
go visit gabriel's sis after her op.
christmas at xue ping jie's house***(can see matthew!)
outing with classmates.
kbox with wj and jac
kbox with justin and friends
kbox with jeff and zh,
shop for christmas presents
TUITION******(need money!)
justin's new year party.
suemaine's birthday
lynette's farewell.

okay. will prioritise them soon and make a time line.

2010-12-14T22:38:00.003+08:00

my goodness
i feel damn damn damn dumb.
i was so excited that i was going to have crab for dinner

but somehow, my bottom lips got swollen and now it spread to the upper lips.
and now my lips are swollen.
i look like i just got lip fillers.

how my exam is tmr how.

2010-12-13T22:54:00.003+08:00

LIU YU DAMN CUTE.
HAHAHAHA.
i damn thick skinned emailed him to wish me good luck.
and he replied:

Good luck! ^_^

hahaha
then i saw him peering through my paper during exam.
i made a fatal mistake when he was looking.
but when he left,
i got brainwave! and spotted my mistake.
(i know i made a mistake cos its a proving question)

ANYWAY, THANKS BABY FOR COMING MY HOUSE SPECIALLY TO SEND ME TO SCHOOL!
FEEL DAMN LOVED. <33

p.s: my sister made it up by baking muffins.(Y) :)

2010-12-12T11:58:00.002+08:00

damn pissed with my sister.

i woke up this morning and then she told me that my cousin wants to borrow dress from me.
and to pass her 3.
okay.
but i have alot of dresses so i told my sister to ask my cousin to come and choose.

asking my cousin to come is a very logical thing to do right since:

firstly, i dont know what style my cousin likes.
secondly, i dont know what's her size.
thirdly, my cousin would have more variety to choose from
and lastly, I HAVE EXAMS TMR. i dont have time to make these kind of decisions.

BUT no, my sister threatened saying that she would tell my cousin that i dont want to help her.
in what way am i insinuating that i dont want to help by asking her to come to my house to choose.
not very honest, huh.
she just wants people to think im evil when we can all see who's the one.

2010-12-07T15:32:00.002+08:00

i dont like pumps.

No, not the shoe.

PUMPS. fluid mech's pumps.

dont understand max.
haix.
STRESS AH.

p.s: i like lazing at home.
i want to laze all day at home after the exams.
(Y)

i like liu yu. (Y) his explanations are so clear.
and logical. (Y)
why so little people appreciate him. :(

2010-12-05T13:28:00.002+08:00

ok actually im not that competitive.

i just want to know my work.
like understand everything.
and add to my knowledge.
hahahahaha.
i just like knowing everything.

but i get pissed when people discredit me.
=(

ok enough rambling.
i should study.

can't wait to finish understanding all my work.

2010-11-30T01:47:00.002+08:00

you know, i feel stronger now.

like kind of.

anyway, i think my life will be alot simpler if i left this competitive environment.
its making me paranoid and sour.

but too bad. im damn competitive too.
i want my gpa 5 so damn bad.
or at least first class.
=/

today, a tutor/lecturer unnecessarily lashed out at me.
and i have every right to be mad.
because firstly, he graded my paper wrongly,
secondly, he lashed out at me for pointing out his mistake in grading.
i've emailed him quite tactfully and awaiting his reply.
if he doesnt apologise im gonna make sure he apologises in class.
even better, apologise in lecture.

hell, i even corrected one of his lecture slides.
i think he better reconsider pissing me off.
and thank god all papers will be cross-marked.

im going to make sure he apologises.
or i will bcc the whole incident to the dean.

2010-11-28T23:41:00.000+08:00

I FEEL AT PEACE WITH MYSELF AND THE WORLD.
:)

I HOPE THIS FEELING LASTS.

2010-11-25T18:07:00.002+08:00

hahaha.

i dont really like them.
i know they are damn selfish.
they want my help but give me no help.
like wtf.

i have good gpa because i DESERVE it.
you guys like to do your other stuffs instead of studying that's your business.
i'll be more willing to help if you guys help me.
but no, like leeches you just LEECH.

im not giving you all anymore help.
and i dont need you all.
k thanks bye.

2010-11-18T21:45:00.001+08:00

i so desperately wanted to witness the leonid showers that i dreamt of an extraordinary one.

and i was so filled with awe.

2010-10-31T02:09:00.002+08:00

i have reached enlightenment.

man's only sin is greed. because all crimes stems from greed. greedy for love,for money,for power,for control,for fame,for acceptance,for a better life. yet to be greedy is human. the only way man can stop being greedy is to have everything. when u have everything,there is nothing else for u to be greedy for. so only then can man stop sinning. but the only one that has everything is god. that is why god doesnt sin. because god isnt greedy. -Jasmine Ang Jiemin (2010)

2010-10-23T01:20:00.004+08:00

today, i went for my driving test.
AND I PASSED.

but so sian
my licence photo will be damn CHUI.
because my instructor never ask me to bring photo.
so i had to take my picture there and then.
sian max.
i woke up late and wore pyjamas like clothes to sit for the test.
so my photo is the just wake up swollen eye look.
T.T

oh wells,
at least i pass and no one can say i tried to 'seduce' the tester.
because my face was really damn shits.
like swollen and all due to the lack of sleep.
so i earned it cause i DESERVE it.
hahaha.
ok lah im starting to hearts manual cars.

then went for germ's party.
wahh gabriel friends really damn onzzz.
and gabriel actually dressed up!!
O.O right. hahaha.

AND YOU DONT KNOW ME,
YOU DONT EVEN CARE.
~just a song stuck in my head.~

2010-10-20T21:23:00.003+08:00

had a great day with bi today.
went to this korean restaurant near al ahzaar
best korean food i've ever tasted
usually i hate korean food
but i ate quite alot this time.
love the pancake.

anyway met gigi and wen qian.
gigi's damn nice.
wah lau she gave me a damn ex perfume,
a dress and LOTS of shoe laces.
MAX LOVES kk.
promise will go ur birthday.
then help her write love letter to he boy2.
oh and
i met wenqian the other day in pulau ubin.
she was cycling and i was camping with the astronomerss.

talking about ubin,
i love the astro camp.
though its a waste i didnt get to see the andromeda galaxy,
BUT, pleiades, the orion nebula etc WERE SO DAMN CLEAR.
i think i saw the hartley's comet.
it was rather small i must say.
much smaller than expected.
and i saw the line on the moon.

my senior said its suppose to be a damn rare sight.
so though we always see the same phase of the moon,
wemay not always get to see it.

hahahaha
and i learnt the names of my stars and constellations in chinese.
wo xi xuan he zhongguoren hun zai yi qi.(i like to mix with china ppl)
ta men qi shi man you qu de o!(they are actually quite fun to be with)

2010-10-19T01:15:00.003+08:00

hihi.
i feel so dejected,
im just gonna slowly let it go.
just hope u'll come to ur senses before its too late.

when u are ready and have the time and want to deal with it then tell me.
i want to be able to come up with constructive suggestions.
just dont wait too long before u do,
because i dont really wanna move on.
but this disinterest will eventually make me.
and im starting to feel like i may stray.

dont make me happy to cover the issues yet to be settled.
because it will make u like a fling.
you are just trying to make me happy hopefully cover up the existing problem.
if u think they are small issues,just forget it.
im not ready and i doubt i ever will be able to accept it as part of the life i have to deal with in the future.
i guess its a matter of either u make me change or u change.

k thanks bye.

2010-10-10T22:13:00.003+08:00

zomg. so many things to do.
just got back my com.
HDD spoilt cos apparently i've been shifting my com w/o hibernating it first.

thanks baby for always checking my mail for me.

i feel weird about xlb.
how?

hahahahaha.
so anyway, cant wait for ubin trip.
and i'vebeen an idiot.
bahh.

ohh and jerry's in survival training campp.
mommy and i damn worried.
its like dehumanizing a person!
=F

*note to self
need to complete birthday post.

2010-09-25T00:25:00.003+08:00

I feel so guilty for being disarmed by a guy from china.
Like what the hell is wrong with me.

I must be feeling tired.

K. Thx. Bai.

Anyway, astro is fun max!! I've yet to learn my clubmates names!! Somehow I like astro ppl more. I mean the salsa seniors are super nice. But I think I'm just a nerdy geek.

I enjoy it super duper a lot!!!
Must start speaking and learning how to speak fluent mandir their style

2010-09-19T00:17:00.002+08:00

ok update on life.

i join two cca
salsa and astronomy!
Mmmm....
this year's gonna one hectic year..

i went to see a fortune teller!
he told me im too strong as a woman!
be softer,
if not i will scare my boyfriend away.
he's bloody accurate.
so i really should listen to him!

and i really hope that whatever he says about my future is true.
because it sounds quite nice.
=)
but then again,
you might have everything material in the world,
but you wont be happy.

and he told me,
i have great taste.
so dont ever get together with ah bengs.
they will lead to my downfall.
ok! that's some sound advice!

ok one more thing to take note.
remember mangulch fire incident.
if trapped in a fire,
burn another area of fire then jump inside the fire.
because fire only occur when there is a source for fuel.
so after you just finish burning an area,
all the fuel will be used up.
therefore, it wont burn that same area again!

ok then last point,
baby's parents are like having abit of money problems.
im going to help them. (Y)
its so sad lah.
they are such kind people lah.
dear god, please bless them.
thank you!

sian, im getting super lazy.
driving, astro, salsa, tut.
when will it end??!!!

2010-08-30T20:33:00.004+08:00

ok this is an update on what happened yesterday on my 21st birthday!!

I woke up feeling really moody because of my failed party the day before.
relied on desperate housewives therapy the whole morning and afternoon.

then GABRIEL came to cheer me up and he brought me his present!!
BEST PRESENT EVER!!!

first, it was a YELLOW paper made treasure chest.

look at the way the thing arcs. its so perfect!

so like real RIGHT

Then it was this hand-made box!
it looks like its bought right!!
I know you think its a box with a lock only rightt?
WRONGGGG

2010-08-29T01:56:00.003+08:00

Just ended my birthday from not too long ago.
and it was just SO SO SO DAMN TIRESOME!

and it didnt help that the air con werent working.
(causing everyone to sweat and ruin the girls' make up.)
or that the caterer delivered very little food.
(causing some people to miss out on the nice food and my parents had to go ta bao somemore food)
or that it was plain awkwardness when bi's mom wanted me to get my friends to dance.

to be honest, my party felt like a failure.
and its mostly due to money constraint and damn sway jasmine's luck.
and that crippled the planning and programming part greatly.

thanks zhihui, fel, sandra, mok, charleston, adele, tianying, ester and udaya for their nice CK yellow handbag.
thanks zhi hui and charleston for buying for me balloons,
udaya for dressing so outrageously, like this is the most outrageous i've ever seen her wear but what a waste i didnt manage to take a picture with her. =(
tianying and ester and mingsong for dressing up.
haha, first time i see tian ying wear make up!
and sandra and adele and fel for coming!
and gerald for turning up despite his injury.

thanks justin, qin heng, winnie, germ and weichong for turning up with such awesome cyclops glasses and suspenders and qin heng for sewing and rolling up his pants to reveal his white socks.
and them plus hian chong for the yellow DKNY bag.

HAHAHA. my other bags very ugly ahh? =(
oh wells, at least i now have two partially branded bag.
better than my less than 20 bucks bagss.

and thanks to germ for putting on so much make up just for me. LOVE THE CAT EYES and BLACK LACE dress and black stockings.
and winnie for that awesome ribbon bun!
and thanks to qin heng for showing off his talent in dancing in an attempt to save the awkwardness. he should really dance longer lah!

and then there's the gigi's group.
this is the group that i've let down the most.
im REALLY VERY SORRY.
they were left with the warmest place and i spent the least time with them.

firstly and most importantly, i would like to thank GIGI FUNG.
who is a really great great great great great GREAT
and i cant emphasize enough how GREAT of a friend she is.
she specially took off from her asshole of a boss to come to my party.
and i know that she really put in ALOT of effort to dress up specially for me.
im greatly touched and im so sorry i've disappointed you.
i know today wasnt exactly what i had planned in mind.
i had wanted more things to do like dress hong kai junda and terrence up but it was just so bloody hectic and warm in the room i was so stressed out i couldnt focus properly and coordinate everything as well as i should.
and i wasnt able to entertain you guys as much as i hoped i'd have.
i know it was boring and awkward for you guys.
i am so so so so sorry. =(
i really am.

and thanks hong kai for turning up.
he came from his grand father's funeral and stayed all the way until we had to leave the room.
of course thanks nat, bradley, terrence, peijun, willy and junda for coming too!

and my parents for attempting to dress up.
HAHA. i cant believe my dad really brought his black leather jacket.
and my mom gamely let me tie her hair.
and thanks dearest mom and dad for helping me buy the food and drinks when i had such a big crisis.
and mommy for hosting the guess the book/song/phrase game.
that pulled off the awkwardness for awhile.

and thanks to gabriel's parents for buying the cake and making sure that things are ok.
though it wasnt very ok, but they've tried to make it as ok as it can be.
=) effort A!
and clearing out the rubbishh

and brendon and chole and germaine and their mom and gerard and geraldine for coming and sportingly played the game!
and super thanks to brendon for his awesome dance moves. =)

and thanks to my own siblings who i know were desperately helping me salvage the awkwardness when everyone had to but didnt dance.
LOL.

and finally, my dearest GABRIEL LOKE ZI JIE.
for painstakingly climbed up and down,
open window,
run errands,
dress up,
quarrel with the security guard cos of the air con,
fight for my right to get the room,
entertain the caterer,
come up with my play list,
move the sofas and chairs,
cleared the rubbish,
withdraw money,
make 'crystals',
and the list goes onnn.
that's the best present ever dear,
your love for me that lets you endure all the things you had to do.
i love you baby.
i really do.
thanks for everything you've done for me.
note that i didnt write about the dance part cos bad memories are not worth remembering.

oh wells,
anyway, my friends and family gave me real nice presents!
heh will show when i have the time to

2010-08-21T23:19:00.001+08:00

i hate smokers.
WHY ARENT THEY DYING!!!!!!!!!!

damnit man.

I WANT A PORTABLE AIR CLEANING MACHINE ALL AROUND ME
AND A LEGAL RIGHT TO ARREST SMOKERS AT BUS STOPS

2010-08-17T23:50:00.002+08:00

ok let's see what happen in my hols so far.

i've cut gab's hair, went to nus to eat lunch 3 times
erm...........
and working with autocad, clicking coordinates whilst battling a nursery kid so he wont touch my face.

(cos he's really dirty, and my birthday is comingg, my face cant afford to have anymore pimples!)

yup.
i have to do my dress soon but im damn lazyyyy.
hahaha.
i so cant imagine myself if im getting married.
i'll be super lazy.

so anyway for shin birthday, i was her makeshift boyfriend.
and i realised that being a boyfriend sucks.
zomg, i tried thinking like me and what i would expect on my special day,
and wah lau eh.
its damn tough being a boyfriend to a girl.
i promise i will try to understand gabriel's circumstance before making anymore criticism.
and curb my disappointments, cos my expectations are just so damn demanding.
and i will never use guys on tv as gauge.
BECAUSE THEY ARE FICTITIOUS!
and i will treasure what gab has done for me and stop focusing on what he has NOT done.
amen.

for shin's birthday, i was chased by bees and other insects because i was carrying a bouquet of 18 roses,
stood our her house for DAMN LONG, carrying so many things, under the hot sun with slight drizzle (worst combi ever cos you are wet AND sweaty),
carry her jacket and water bottle,
went to a damn ulu high class restaurant where two people meal cost more than 100 EXCLUDING GST,
sent her home,
and you know what,
what i did isnt even anything exceptional.
i didnt even fork out the money.
and this was just the most basic thing a girl expects.

its not even fireworks screaming her name,
or candles proclaiming your love for her,
or a carved statue of her.

and i was SUPER TIRED at the end of the day, despite the free cab home.
(ok, i did though help her do her damn chio hair and make up. that probably accounts for most of my tiredness and also the fact that i stayed up doing her present.)
but anyway, for once, i thank god, i am a girl,
and i can sa jiao gabriel to do things like this for me.
WITHOUT COMPLAINING.

to withstand all this and to do it every other day,
you practically have to worship the person man.
bi, i love you.

so anyway, random pictures from shin birthday and another outing soon!
shin's damn pretty thanks to my hairstyling and photography skills.
i wish gabriel knows my good angle and can help me do my hair like i know how he wants his hair to be cut. =(

i want to be chio for my 21st birthday too you knoww.

2010-08-16T02:05:00.002+08:00

wah lau i totally regreted suing accountings
weiji did damn well joseph did not bad as well.
freak lah.

what a bad decision.

2010-08-11T00:57:00.002+08:00

I WANNA THANK JEFFREY AND ZIHENG for celebrating my 21st birthday today in ambush
with a LARGE pot of clams in white wine, linguine and tiramusu.
seafood is <3!

haix. why my friends so skinny one.
ziheng is 1.8something and weigh 58kg and jeffrey is 170 and weigh 56kg.
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS.
IM THE FATTEST THERE and they are both guys. =s

and thanks to tay weiji for his ndp vouchers.

I CAN HAS BIOSKIN!

p.s: vongole should always be eaten in olive oil and not in creamy sauce.

2010-08-09T14:13:00.002+08:00

zomg
being the eldest sucks

i have so many responsibiities when my parents are away.
i have to keep the house clean,
make sure my siblings have food to eat/ money to eat
feed the fish
blah blah blah

and guess what
i caught jason watching porn,
and he still happily invited all his friends to stay over night at my house.
(my parents would be furious if they found out)
and they were charging 7 psps to ONE POWER socket.
(there were more than 10 people)
and they still can say "jason your house is going to be burnt down"
and they LAUGH about it.
and they broke a glass.

and jerry happily went out and left me with his army laundry which he by the way needs it by the end of today.
i doubt it would be dry.
and janice went out.

and im left with monitoring the maid.
cos she's sneaky.
and how?

i still have to go out with gabriel later cos he's starting school tomorrow
and we cant spend so much time together once his school starts.

i hate being the eldest.

oh and i have to do all my sibling's dishes.
cos they are lazy.
and bring out their rubbish.
please, what is this.

2010-08-06T22:26:00.003+08:00

fmlfmlfmlfml.

THIS is the FREAKING 3rd consecutive birthday
that i have problem on my head.
last year, there was a cut on my eye.
the year before it was year infection.
and now,
i have cold sore on my LIPS.

shit this man.
im so pissed.
and im stressed that's why i have cold sore.
stupid man.
i dont think i should work anymore.

2010-08-02T11:12:00.001+08:00

zomg.
im so stressed.
i need money for my party.

for my outrageous outfit too.

2010-07-29T00:55:00.002+08:00

FINALLY i can holiday with the rest of my peers.

yippie!
today went out with shin.
cam whored everywhere.
blahh.
tmr i have driving EARLY in the morning.
yupp. im so doomed cos i just reached home.
well done.

2010-07-23T22:34:00.002+08:00

ok this just happened.

i was at home using my com as usual,
watching big bang theory.

when i saw a sudden movement at my door.
and at first i thought it was my brother.
but it was a CAT.

CAT. outside my bedroom.
which was on the second floor.

then i shouted to my mom. and the cat fled.
i didnt know where it went and i couldnt chase because my leg was numb
(you know pins and needles)
i called for help and my mother who was downstairs.
RATHER PLAY HER STUPID COMPUTER GAME.
(it was match the mahjong tiles kinda lame game)
than help me.
and you know what.
she goes on nagging about cat in the house and how WE (meaning everyone except her) should chase it away.

ok and i admit.
i do have phobia of animals with sharp teeth/fang when i first see them.
especially if i dont not know their habits well.
i mean face it,
we dont have any animal instinct within us to predict what goes on in their head.
and i really expect a cat that i just scared away to be to a certain extent aggressive to my prescence.

the worse of all, when i found the cat,
it was standing in front of the door.
thus blocking the door.
HOW THE HELL WOULD I DARE TO OPEN THE DOOR.
i mean if i opened the door there and then,
i would have to corner the cat UNINTENTIONALLY.
and what do animals do when they are cornered?
THEY ATTACK.

and my mom HAPPILY just IGNORE my pleas for help
and can scold me somemore when i wanted to open the backyard door.
THANKS ALOT MOM.

i asked my dad for help and HE SHOUTED AT ME.

WOW. my family ROCKS.

like if i was so lazy to open the door for the cat,
why the hell would i even walk to you.
i freaking have to travel a greater distance.
I HAVE A PHOBIA GODDAMNIT.

and you know what,
they dont seem to be bothered by the prescence of a cat in the house.
so good for them.
i will not chase the cat out the next time.

2010-07-17T00:09:00.000+08:00

IM SO BLOODY PISSED.
technology is not my friend today!

2010-07-15T00:33:00.006+08:00

wahh im so happy i almost finished my next accounting tut homework.
left one more question!
first time i started two days b4 date due.
ONZ man.

today's accounting quiz was not as bad as i thought but not that fantastic either.
not bad as in compared to the stupid learning centre.
learning centre SO BLOODY DIFFICULT LA
i failed every test.
actually i never complete after doing 3-4 questions cos i realised how weak my concepts are
when i start blindly clicking random buttons.
its so meaningless i gave up after the 3rd question
so i was super scared for quiz.

but aiya actually it was quite ok la.
more or less things that we've worked on in class.
but there are some damn weird questions.
like on tell me that the balance for allowance of impairment of AR is a debit.
RARRRRR.
then the answers all dont fit my rationale.

so anyway, people in my class all did about the same as me.
aiya why they all so smart one!!!
STRESSED.

SO ANYWAY, tmr gonna go running along bukit timah!
hope the training is sufficient and that im fit enough!
excited!

and some cam whore pics from long ago!

kfc in anchorpoint + shopping! =x i brought my own bag save the earth!

b&j at dempsey! on the swing!

inside!

frog gaga!

bulbasaurrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-07-14T11:20:00.002+08:00

ok i shall be super accomodating.
but who's gonna pay for my loses?
people that take for free and sits on people's kindness should reflect upon themselves.

if im earning a million bucks a month,
i wont mind as much
but i have a bf that isnt working
and im now feeding TWO lives everytime we go out.
WE HAVENT WATCHED A SINGLE MOVIE SINCE GOD KNOWS WHEN.
PLUS my driving.

i dont have time nor money to feed your wants.
especially when you are so ungrateful.
and not to mention resort to stealing
i consider taking/using my things without my permission as stealing
just because i used to say yes to everything you request to borrow in the past doesnt mean you dont have to ask ok.

and when i say no you cant have that when i caught you red handed taking my things without MY permission you call me selfish.
WHY should i say yes and encourage your kind of behaviour that i disapprove of and is making me SO MAD?

hello, its a matter of principle here.

you want me to be nicer to you?
you better reflect on yourself.
and guess what, my paranoia is CAUSED BY YOU.
everytime i catch you red handed i suspect you've been doing things behind my back.
because how can i keep spying on you right.

trust is earned.
i wont believe you until you start showing that you do ask permission before taking my things.
and remember, everytime i catch you taking my things without my permission,
i will assume that ten of my things that disappear is caused by you.

SO JUST STOP TAKING ME THINGS.

2010-07-10T01:05:00.002+08:00

got back my special sem one grades already.
not too bad but not that good.
overall gpa just increased by 0.02.
well, increase is better than no increase right!

so anyway, this means i can SU my accounting module already.
=)
MEANING, i can enjoy my holkidays! YIPPIE!!!!
because everything is SO FAR only ah on trackk.
and i dont want accounting to spoil all my gradesss.

AYE.
i actually wanted to minor in energy
BUT so stupid.
ntu only started offering this minor energy during this hols.
which means i wasted all my time clearing my UEs.
so i cant manipulate my timetable to my advantage.
sian.
so stupid. so i guess i'll not be having a minor.

stupid education system.
argh.
what a waste.
minor in energy is SO my calling.
but now its too time consuming.
PUIIIII.

i hope school will not be so hectic when it reopens.
and i wanna join astronomy club!

2010-07-09T00:07:00.002+08:00

GERMANY.
WHAT A DISGRACE.
ARGH.
octopus self fulfilling prophecy.
see la paul.
you psychologically embedded failure into the heads of your country's pride and victory into the heads of your rivals.
haix.
biting the hand that feed you paul, is no good.
i think your country men will start killing your relatives and eat them now.

i seriously didnt think that muller's absence will cripple germany to such extent.
spain's passing damn accurate.
and they had so many shots.
the germans were like frantically trying to get the ball.
which is like what they did to the argentinians
what a shame.
totally painful to watch man.....

=(

argh.

went to queensway to follow shin to buy german jacket for jason despite the pathetic loss.
shin insisted that jason is still a loyal german supporter.
hahaha.
thought that maybe i can haggle the price and convince them that germany sucks and apart from us, no one else will wanna buy germany jacket.
but didnt have to.
shin had a 10% discount from OG.
so wah lau wasted sial.

2010-07-07T01:58:00.005+08:00

Mmmm..... i realise i havent been cam whoring when i should be.
you know im kinda sick of studying.
accounting is fine but im in sucha holiday mood.
Mmm kk i shall wait for the accounting test.
if i get A and above then i will not su.
but if i get lesser than A,
then i shall SU and enjoy the rest of my hols.
SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTT

ok so anyways,
i think i should start being extremely narcissistic and love myself more than ever but still bearing in mind to keep the environment safe from harm's way.
i should have more ME ME ME time.
because right honestly,
after reading xx's post on cheating,
i feel that nothing is more important than your ownself.
because that's the only secure thing you can trust.
never be too dependent on others for your own happiness.

not that gabriel is bad.
gabriel is damn nice to me since like forever and today we went jogging singing army cheers. stupid idiot dont wanna sing training to be soldiers.
but i mean people do change under unforeseen circumstances.
furthermore, you cant restrict, you cant spy cos it will be super freaky and paranoid.
but without cold hard evidence how can you fully trust someone.
your bf/gf may SAY they arent cheating or SAY that they only have eyes for you
but how much can you really truly believe just by taking their word for it.

now cheating is so rampant,
marriage or not doesnt even provide much security.
even the stupid supposedly protagonist glee teacher cheats on his wife by flirting with the counsellor even BEFORE they divorced (and still have the bloody cheek to bathe with the wife at home) and makes out with the coach of a rival club when he's supposedly tgt with the counsellor.
oh and just before you think he hates his wife or smthn,
it was his first girlfriend that he 'loves' very much.
and still can liddat. wtf man.
what insatiable appetite for lust.

so how?
i think the only person you can trust that will never ever leave you is YOURSELF.
love yourself till others worship you.
and seek security in yourself.
cause people turn desperate when they realise they cant live without some people.
and i dont wanna be those pathetic desperate people.
i wanna be able to walk away when im unhappy and not feel that my world falling apart.
you know,
just safe inside myself. :)

2010-07-04T00:31:00.003+08:00

GERMANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

lol. good team work team.
and wah lao damn fast the players la.
exciting!
but i slept half way after the 3rd goal.
sian too tired already

anyway, im damn irritated why she has to come back.
my life was so good without her.
i really dont like her.
and i still havent forgiven her.
and im still damn pissed.
i dont even think she's remorseful about what she has done.
stupid bitch.

ok on the brighter side.
GERMANY WON ARGENTINA.
(Y)

oh and i found my jeggings. <3
and a chio pair of shoes.
and once again.
i brought my own bag.

save plastic bags save the world people!

* note to self.
dont follow bla bla back.
bad luck max. =(

2010-07-02T23:21:00.003+08:00

today will be a relaxed day.
chill relax sleep early.
to gear myself up for the hectic times that are about to come

i think i should really start on my project now.
my this huge project
that hopefully i will be able to complete.

well, now im in a dilemma
its time vs sacrifice.

its like first case scenerio.
time in 2 years.
and i give up my degree and steer my project to the fullest thus higher probability of completing it in time.

second case scenerio.
time still the same,
i complete my degree but fail to compound my project effectively.
thus dying with everything and everyone else

third case
time not so soon.
i quit school
to pursue my project.
but in the end the end is later than expected.
no money and qualification
= failed project?

fourth
continue school and then complete the project after that.

obviously best case scenerio is fourth.
but will the earth wait for me?
seeing what ignorant most humans are.
chances of it happening = 0.0000000000000000000000000000001
haha.

2010-06-30T22:57:00.003+08:00

you know, i feel that those people who doesnt want to make an attempt to save earth should either,
migrate to another planet,
or just kill themselves
they anyway dont want earth to be a place that they can live in.

i've really had enough of STUPID people saying that saving the world is lame or stupid.
if you dont even want to save something that can preserve your legacy or perhaps something the later part of your life depends on,
then you must as well die now and stop draining away the already insufficient resources that those who want to save the world needs to use.

get educated for what.
all your priorities are wrong.

but anyway, im glad some people are making changes
like the guy who puts a grass patch on top of his car.

while driving a car is still not a very good thing,
it can be a start for green ideas.

2010-06-30T02:24:00.003+08:00

zomg. found the prettiest girl in the world.
like freaking picture and feature perfect.
wah if only i can have any one of her feature i'll be happy max.
i dont even mind having her nostrils.

so pretty i can swoon forever.
and guess what she's 21 this year.
why life so unfair one!

haix.
why cant i be mix breed!
if only one of my parents was ang moh!

anyway, if you're trying to annoy me intentionally,
i just wanna tell you,
i dont really care.

2010-06-28T00:54:00.003+08:00

i hate it when people use sheesh or lame.. or zzZ or -.- or -.-" on me.
im fine if you use it on YOURself or a situation that doesnt involve ME.

cos it makes me feel you are too cool to talk to me properly.
but if you dont mean it that way,
then dont use it on me.

i've told many people off already.
haha. some say im too demanding.
why so many rules one.
but well, if you want my friendship then dont use it.

applies especially to people i just meet.
freaking make me dont feel like talking to you forever.
only exceptions are some REALLY CLOSE friends.
or people i like to intentionally disturb.

2010-06-27T03:21:00.003+08:00

omg. reached home after 2am.
WHAT IS THIS MAN.

i havent been sleeping before 12mn since febuary or something.
BAD BAD.
bad for skin, bad for brain.
sighh.

today went for a book launch in the afternoon.
i didnt know that my ***'s friends were such influencial people that subhas anandan came to support the book launch.
SUBHAS ANANDAN LEII
the very famous criminal laywer you see in law and order and crime watch occasionally on channel newsasia and news.

ok the details of the book launch i cant really divulge.
because i still wanna work and earn some money with my degree.

justin and qin heng came late!
>=@

by the time they arrived the event finished.
so in the end we went to the national museum to look around.
then got into a road spat with a ferrari driver that is so action.
i think its damn dumb that drivers accelerate so quickly from one traffic light with that 'ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR' sound only to stop because of another traffic light 50m away.

after that we went to the forum to buy monopoly CARDS.
which are btw DAMN FUN.
and ends much faster than the stupid board game.
haha. come to think of it, i never once successfully ended a monopoly board game.

then went to chinatown.
and this was when i looked up in the sky and realised that the moon was HALF EATENN???
i thought that the clouds blocked the moon in a really weird shape because the clouds looked unusually opaque and round.
but guess what, it wasnt the clouds.
IT WAS A LUNAR ECLIPSE!!!!

oh and right we saw this ang moh guy battling chinese chess with some lao jiao old man and his kakis.
with some lousy magician performing at the background.
damn cute the scene please.
should have brought a cam and use black and white or sepia mode to capture that scene.
maybe can win some photography competition!
ok going back to the lousy magician.
seriously right.
i dont understand his tricks at all la.
its like right he showS everyone a black cloth that is empty.
then he bring down the black cloth to cover his shoe for awhile.
then when he bring the black cloth up right,
he took out a shoe from the cloth.

THAT's NOT EVEN magic.
its logic.

you take out your shoe behind the black cloth and subsequently use the cloth to take the shoe.
and that's why the shoe was in the cloth.

but i feel kinda bad for him cos can tell he put in alot of effort.
and that he's very passionate.

ok then went to fetch germ in nus and then went to macs to watch wc BUT it was filled with korean people.
so played in west coast park until my shoes were so sandy!
then played the damn fun monopoly cards.
its really damn fun.

note to self: i wanna buy the pottery making set from toy r us!

2010-06-25T08:52:00.002+08:00

humans are just plain dumb.
we just dont seem to know when to start using our brains and see that nothing else is more important than saving the earth now!

it cant be more in your face when the weather fluctuates between hot and cold so drastically in such a short period of time.
especially when it wasnt like this last year or years before.
no point blaming god or asking god if the rain can stop so you can go to work or go to school.
have you even done your part in saving the world anot?

STOP taking plastic bags.
STOP taking plastic straws
STOP driving cars
STOP taking taxis
STOP using aircon.
have you been able to do that?
dont tell me its impossible to do such things.
IT IS NOT.

see if your money still has value when you are dead by 2012
see if your certificate matters.
see if going overseas and shopping sprees really matter.
THEY ALL DONT MATTER if we all disappear by 2012.

we should adapt to our environment now.
stop being so weak
and start wisening up!

2010-06-24T02:04:00.002+08:00

ok just had accountings lecture today.
and it was weird.
while i might not be able to score well for my gv17 module,
i simply MISS IT TO THE MAX!

i wish i can retake it for the fun of singing!
i seriously dont mind going Mmmmmmmm and hee-hee-hee-hee (staccato) for the whole day.
gv17 really felt damn free
and easy.
like im finally living life as it should be!

accountings is bland.
well, i will try my best BUT bland it is and im not exactly interested.
you know, unlike astronomy!

astronomy is a different kind of fun from singing.
astronomy is more of a fantasy kinda fun,
coming up with theories why certain nebulas are in what kinda shape,
rectangular nebulas are damn cool.
what will happen when spiral galaxies meet another galaxy whose gravitational force was strong enough to stop the rotational motion of that spiral galaxy and what will result.
will the black hole in the middle cease to become a black hole?
or what if you put two black holes head on to each other?
will the blackhole with a heavier mass be able to pull out the contents that were being sucked in by the smaller black hole?

why arent galaxies colonised?
are there really other intelligent beings?
or are we still part of a cycle that what ever we do we cannot alter our fates?

2010-06-23T02:10:00.003+08:00

im so dead meat.
its like 2 plus am now.
and i havent exactly started properly digressing my accounting notes.
i mean i've read them through once but i havent gone through the textbook.
or attempted the tutorial.

cant believe i travelled all the way to jp to collect the accounting book that wei lun lent me from weiji and until now,
I HAVEBNT STARTED READING.

haix.
i shouldnt be so lazy that day man.
cos i was already carrying my life science stuffs when i collected the book from wei lun.
so i dropped it off in weiji's house for convenience.

THEN on sunday, i realised i needed to mentally prepare myself for class given my lack of aptitude for the subject and in fact all things business.
but unfortunately, weiji didnt have the time to meet me before
and so i got it today,
and now, unfortunately, i have no mood to read the textbook.
SIAN MAX.

being unprepared sucks.

ok i hope i've saved someone.

2010-06-21T01:21:00.003+08:00

i think im saved by a cat!
yesterday i had a really really bad headache.
like after i watched HACHIKO which was after netherlands won japan!
(btw, i think japan played well. siannn. honestly, i thought the referee abit bias.)
i think its a result from a mixture of
radiation from phone and com PLUS
wet hair + direct air con PLUS
deep inhalation of carbon monoxide PLUS
lack of sleep.

then today, i had the bad headache the whole morning and afternoon.
then as loke and i was walking to the west coast market to meet my family for dinner after we went shopping for his daddy's present from west coast plaza,
suddenly a cat came from behind and rubbed itself between my legs as i stopped to call my dad.
gabriel at first commented that the cat was damn fat.
but then we realised that it was pregnant!

and then,
MY HEADACHE WAS GONE!
yup ok that's all.
gonna go swimming again tmr!

2010-06-19T13:54:00.002+08:00

zomg. just realised that my sec 3 tuition teacher WAS a top student and a DEAN lister in NTU envi. which meansssssssssssss

freaking he can help me with my year 2 work right right?
gotta dig out his number and start irritating him for tips and maybe tuition IF he's free.
but i highly doubt.

all graduates are busy with work.
especially DEAN LISTERS.
sian max.

so anyway, i need to start straightening up my life again.
no more late nights watching wc again.
highlights would do.
i cant sit so long watching soccer 3 times a day, 2 hrs at a time.

it sucks having no money.
i renewed my pdl for the 3rd time already and i still feel like procrastinating my TP.
my instructor was shocked when i told him i never attempted booking any TP and i kinda refrained him from booking TP for me as well.
witnessing the accident really made me feel like giving up learning how to drive totally.

i dont really trust myself.
you know i can drive safely but sometimes ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN.
and i dont really wanna do anything that will haunt me forever!